My boy

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Cheryl-s
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Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:38 am

My boy

Post by Cheryl-s » Sat Aug 18, 2018 8:55 am

:twisted: Hi everyone I'm Cheryl and I am new to this forum. I am struggling with the loss of my gorgeous cat spangle who passed in January. I lost my 3 boys in the space of 14 months the last being spangle. I seem to be stuck in a dark place with his passing and cannot seem to move on. I have lily who is 9 and we got taz who is 7 months and very naughty I love them both dearly and taz has helped a lot not replacing spangle that is not why we got him. I feel people think I should have moved on and don't think I should be so sad. He was such a special little character not that my other gorgeous boys weren't and I loved him so much . X

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Ruth B
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Re: My boy

Post by Ruth B » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:18 am

It takes as long as it takes, there is no set time limit for how long grief lasts.

While you may feel you are stuck in that dark place, it does sound like you are moving on, but slowly. You have Taz, who you know isn't a replacement, but is there to help fill the hole left by Spangle and the others. Losing 3 in that short length of time would hit anyone hard. Try and concentrate on the good times you had with them. Spend time with Lily and Taz, and try and enjoy them for who they are, not comparing them to Spangle and the others.

You will come out the other side you just have to take it one day at a time and it doesn't matter how many days it takes. Don't let people tell you other wise and certainly don't listen if they go on that it 'was only a cat', our pets are part of our family and we have the right to grieve for them the same way we would grieve for any family member.

If you want to talk you will find plenty of people who understand what you are going through and are happy to hear about what Spangle and the others were like and what happened to them, as well as what antics little Taz is getting up to.

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fjm
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Re: My boy

Post by fjm » Sat Aug 18, 2018 9:22 am

I think there are some animals that will always hold a particular place in our hearts, no matter how much we love the others that share our lives. And sometimes when we lose them we lose a link to past happiness - my cats were with me when my parents were still alive, and their presence can make me feel very close to those years. Everyone grieves differently - you lost three beloved cats in a very short time, and it is not yet a year - every anniversary can bring back the pain in full flood.

Would it help if you were to celebrate his life? To write down some of your memories, here or in a place just for yourself, and some photographs of the happiest moments, perhaps? We do not forget, or replace, but if we are fortunate we can reach a place where the pain is bearable, and the memories bring more smiles than tears.

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