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Still feeling depressed

Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:32 pm
by Bertie 2017
As you know ,I lost my dear friend Bertie ,just over 10 months ago ,and I am
Still getting my days ,when I am feeling really depressed ,I just find it so hard too
Accept ,and move on , and often bitter ,and cheated by my loss ,Bertie was taken
Too soon ,at the age of seven years ,he was a cat in a million Very gentle ,kind
And intelligent ,he was a little furry wreaking ball ,always breaking stuff and could
Never stay out of trouble ,life was never dull ,he was my little ray of sunshine
And now I live my life in darkness and feel ,I ll never move on ,it hurts so much
Each day ,I have too fight too do the simple things like housework ,I try doing things
Like shopping too try ,too cheer myself up ,but it never really helps ,all I long for
Is my Bertie , and he is always on my mind ,,why is life so cruel ? And what does
It take too be happy again ?

Re: Still feeling depressed

Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2018 3:55 pm
by Lilith
There's no easy answer to that, I'm afraid. Time, of course, but you always remember them.

My Tess left me almost 12 years ago, at 7 years old, like your Bertie, after a rta; recently my Emily left me after illness/old age. You'd think there would be time to get used to that, seeing your friend trapped in a deteriorating body and needing to be free of it, a dreadful fate, easier to get used to than the shock of an awful accident, but it's always the same - letting them go feels like a betrayal; you feel horrendously guilty.

I know how you feel, pushing yourself to get on with normal life - housework - what's housework? The empty places. Her chair. Her snuggling against my side, now she's not there.

Some things help - only distractions though. Writing on this forum helps; for me reading and writing helps; an escape. Beer helps lol (perhaps not to everyone's taste lololol.) Some days you just have to inch along don't you?

It is cruel - you can't free yourself from loss. An accident or old age and sickness - the last loving thing you can do for them - but the loss is the same, the guilt and depression. Grief, pure and simple.

I think the only consolation is that we knew them, we loved and cared for them and had the privilege of their love and affection - but at the moment, we want them back, even though we know they couldn't have stayed in that body. I believe we'll meet them again one day (but just my personal belief of course.)

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, I wish I could comfort more but of course there's no comfort; the stark truth is we have to go through it, remembering them and still loving them. Hugs to you though, love, Lil x

Re: Still feeling depressed

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 1:31 pm
by Bertie 2017
Thank you so much for your kind words and support ,I am not sure if you are aware ?
Bertie was a perfectly fit ,and healthy cat on the outside ,but he had bladder nerves damage
Caused by his tail ,getting trapped in the washing machine door ,i am not going into
The ,grory detals ,but it caused damage too his ,spine and bladder ,still I feel the
Loss ,is the same , regardless if it was a accident or illness ,I don’t blame myself anymore ,
It was a freak accident ,it’s the fact ,I feel he was taken too soon ,and we were robbed .
Of so many happy years ,we could have had together ,still I feel blessed I have so many ,
Caring and understanding people ,helping me through this every step of the way ,
No I am not talking about family ,they just don’t understand the bond we shared .as i
Have said ,I get depressed ,from time to time ,that’s natural ,but I am in a better place
(Not a perfect one ) then I was earlier this year ,with grief you have just got to roll with it .
Grief is cruel but necessary , journey we have too take ,in order to heal ,plus it says
How much we loved them ,,and what they mean too us ,even though they gone
They are never ever forgotten ,Bertie was larger than life and left me millions of happy memories ,he was unique ,

Re: Still feeling depressed

Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2018 6:19 pm
by Lilith
Hi, yes, I checked back as I wasn't sure how Bertie had died - a dreadful thing to have happened. It made me think of Tess and how different is a shock death to a gradual decline in health ... yet there seems to be no difference in the degree or impact of grief. We have to grieve, and people who can't recognise this grief are best ignored; no point wasting energy on them.

I'm glad you've found support, love, Lil x

Re: Still feeling depressed

Posted: Sat Sep 22, 2018 12:08 am
by Bertie 2017
Hi again thanks for your reply ,I feel my grief for Bertie is stronger ,and deeper than
Any other grief ,I have experienced before ,sadly I am no stranger too it ,my last cat
Winnie lived too the good age of 17 years ,yes I grieved in my own. Way for her
Put her death didn’t come as a shock ,the last six months of her life ,she started too
Slow down ,I knew it was coming ,but Bertie well that day started just the same as always .
Get up how breakfast ,do housework ,,all I knew was I was closing the washing machine
Door ,and he was in the way , we the vet and I fought for him over 3 weeks ,but he
Wasn’t recovering ,so Yes losing Bertie so soon was like a kick too the gut my whole world
Has fallen apart , and what’s left is many pieces too pick up ,together with support from
People who truly care and understands ,we will put the picture back together ,but it
Will never ever be the same as before ,how can it be ? .?

Thanks and take care