Feeling happy, makes me sad

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Bertie 2017
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Feeling happy, makes me sad

Post by Bertie 2017 » Sat Sep 29, 2018 4:15 am

Since my cat Bertie was P T S last year in November ,my life has been so hard without him .
I have lived through one of the darkest years 2018 ,has been so cruel ,just recently I have
Reconnect with some old friends of mine ,I lost touch with ,mainly down to me ,my
Grief had me ,locked away from society ,I have noticed that being around my friends
Has really brought me out of my grief ,I feel like my old self again ,laughing ,talking
Just like before I lost Bertie ,then it hits me ,why should I be this happy ? Now I am
Living a life without my dear Bertie ? I posted a memory in this websites gallery
Seeing Bertie on their ,just reduced me too tears ,seeing Bertie’s photo usually brings
A smile too my face ,he was such a cheeky boy , so with that in mind I ,ask are these
Normal thoughts and emotions of grief ? Part of me feels guilty of needing to move on .
And other feels I am not ready yet ,a devil and angel thing ,I have been told grief
Does this too you ,but sometimes I feel I am going mad

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fjm
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Re: Feeling happy, makes me sad

Post by fjm » Sat Sep 29, 2018 7:20 am

This is absolutely natural and normal. We love, we lose, we grieve - and then nature is kind, and helps us to survive and slowly work our way back to the sunshine, with the memories of love to help us. You love Bertie, and he loved you, but you also have friends and relations who love you and need you, and being with them is comforting and even joyful. Hold on to your memories and love for Bertie, but don't cling to grief. Let him sleep curled comfortably in a warm corner of your heart, and keep your heart warm with friends and family and living your life as happily as you can.

Bertie 2017
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Re: Feeling happy, makes me sad

Post by Bertie 2017 » Mon Oct 01, 2018 5:34 am

Hi thank you so much for your support and kind words ,I feel my family hasn’t supported
Me at all though this horrible time ,,just go about their daily life’s too busy too spare
A thought or a moment for me it seems ,i suppose that’s why ,I act normal around them ,
Saves me more heartache ,because when they do talk ,they words are not that sympathetic.
Oh at least you have photos ,and just think of the money you’re saving on cat food ,so
I soon learned who too turn too ,I find complete strangers have supported me through this ,
In chat rooms like this one ,and support lines ,etc as for me moving on ,I feel I need too ,
My grief has nearly destroyed me ,,now I am not saying ,I won’t get my bad days ,after all
Bertie was my whole world my everything ,so it’s natural to feel sad ,it’s right what they
Say ,you never get over it ,just learn to live with it ,I feel that’s what I am doing ,so
I will settle for that for now ,and maybe in time ,I will move on ,but I feel things are
Improving ,for me ,well at least it’s better than being depressed ,those were darkest times
For me ,in fact ,this experience has put me off getting pets for life ,because I don’t ever
What too put myself through this ever again it’s too painful

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fjm
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Re: Feeling happy, makes me sad

Post by fjm » Mon Oct 01, 2018 7:02 am

I am glad your depression is beginning to lift - I think from what you have explained in previous posts your grief may have been made worse by the shock of the suddenness of the accident and the way it happened, plunging you into a very dark place that it has been hard to leave. And so many people have that "just a cat" attitude, not understanding how closely entwined our lives become.

There is always sadness in loving those whose lives will almost inevitably be shorter than our own, even if they live into old age and leave us after a slow decline. I cope by trying to live with them in the now, making each day as happy as possible, so that no matter what happens there will be no regrets for love left unexpressed in the past. Your feelings are very understandable, but perhaps the only alternative to never feeling overwhelming grief is never to feel overwhelming love, and that would be very sad.

Bertie 2017
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Re: Feeling happy, makes me sad

Post by Bertie 2017 » Wed Oct 03, 2018 1:14 am

Hi thanks for your support it means a lot ,yes it’s been a tough 11 months ,and I feel in myself ,that things are improving ,in the early days ,,I blamed myself for Bertie’s
Accident ,and many times though had I made the right decision having him P T S ,?
Should I have fought more ,? The answer too that is we had fought a losing battle
For over three weeks ,and Bertie hadn’t regained full bladder use ,I decided too
Intercepted before his bladder ,burst ,it was only a matter of time ,hence preventing
Him a painful death ,but as you know ,they leave a huge hole ,not just in your home .
But in your heart ,yes your broken heart will mend ,but their will always be a crack .
Left behind ,I am trying too stay positive ,and slowly trying too get back to normal .
Well as normal ,as it can be ,life is like a huge jigsaw puzzle ,from a distance it
Looks perfectly normal ,but they is a huge piece missing ,a piecei ai call Bertie .

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