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Feeling low because of his anniversary coming up

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2018 10:26 pm
by Bertie 2017
I have had a good few weeks ,where I.fel ,I was handling things ,but these last few days .
I feel ,I am slipping back into my ,old ways ,feeling depressed and spending too much time .
In bed ,and missing my Bertie ,so much it hurts ,I wonder? Is it because of his anniversary
Coming up on the 25 of November ,it will mark the ,first year without my dear Bertie ,
The worst year of my life ,I will always associate ,that date ,as the day my whole world ,
Fell apart ,and my perfect life was destroyed forever ,I often wonder if I had done things different,Bertie would still be here ,and I wouldn’t be telling my sad story ,still the
Future is something we cart ,see or change ,sadly ,we have to accept our fate ,a part
Of me ,will always feel cheated ,by my loss ,that I feel ,will never change ,losing
A cat so young and suddenly ,has that effect on you ,you cry for the years you should have had Bertie was my sunshine ,he could always brighten up the darkest day,and was always there for me ,in times of trouble ,and always knew how ,too make me happy ,
Oh how I used to laugh ,st his antics ,he was always getting into trouble ,he was
A very intelligent cheeky cat ,so could do anything he put his mind to ,including
Defrosting the fridge ,and many other things besides always trouble ,at all times

Re: Feeling low because of his anniversary coming up

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:03 pm
by Lilith
Hi, yes, the first anniversary of a bereavement is said to be as bad as the bereavement itself. It's not surprising that your emotions are stirred up at this time - a painful process to have to go through on top of still missing Bertie and agonising over his death and your loss.

This is it with cats or any other living person - we either let them into our lives and know they'll leave eventually, early or late, or we stay aloof; which is best?

Not much comfort to those of us who are bereaved but I know which I'd prefer, even so.

You'll get through it and one day I feel certain you'll meet Bertie again, love and hugs, Lil x

Re: Feeling low because of his anniversary coming up

Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2018 1:34 pm
by Bertie 2017
Thank you so much for your kind words and support ,they say you never really get over it ,
Just learn to live with it ,I have mixed emotions ,over Bertie’s anniversary ,part of me
Is dreading it ,but the other part of me ,what’s it too come ,so I can get it over with ,
Well 2018 ,if I am honest ,regardless I feel the 25 th of November ,will always be a painful .
Reminder ,of what I had, and lost ,what ever year ,it is .in my mind ,it is the day ,all
Hope was lost ,the day we lost the fight ,we tried for almost a month ,too save him ,
He was improving ,but sadly he bladder ,wasn’t emptying ,and needed a vet ,too
Do the job for him , I was told I could do it myself ,but it would mean ,I had have too
Do it three times a day ,add daily baths ,and even nappies ,no Bertie wouldn’t have thanked
Me for that ,I knew him as a happy ,intelligent ,cheeky ,independent cat who lived his short
Life ,too the full ,add to the fact ,he loved too go outside ,in fact ,he hated being kept in .
If I didn’t let him out ,he’d go off it ,meowing and pacing like a gaged animal ,even would
Try opening the door lol ,and tapped the door key,so yes I thought it was ,the kindest thing
Too let him go ,plus they was always the risk of his bladder busting ,and I knew that would have been ,a very painful death ,letting him go was my last act of love and right to do

Re: Feeling low because of his anniversary coming up

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 12:33 pm
by Lilith
Ugh, no cat ought to have to go through that with no hope of recovery, least of all a young and formerly lively one.

Sometimes euthanasia is the last loving act we can perform for them, no matter how we feel we've betrayed them x

Re: Feeling low because of his anniversary coming up

Posted: Sat Oct 20, 2018 4:59 pm
by Nicky brown
I read your story of Bertie and can imagine how awful that was for you. I had to say goodbye to my gorgeous 2 year old Hendrick last night after he was struck by a car - he survived but had a life changing injury similar to Bertie's that we decided he couldn't live with. I am raw.
However, with regard to your Bertie, I wanted to share that over 20 years ago now, we lost another amazing companion - 6 yr old Benjamin- a Burmese, Persian accidental cross. He was a very elegant young man. One hot day he decided to get out of the sun and lie under the car. We had shopping to get - you can guess the rest. It was awful. He died in my husband's arms whilst I was furiously trying to phone the vet. Accidents happen - we cannot cut ourselves up about it. I have never forgotten Benjamin and still get a tear in my eye when I tell his story but I have loved many cats since and always check under the car. What hurts me more is the motorists who go past my home and mow down my family members without even the decency to stop. I have now lost 5 cats in 21 years outside my house - Hendrick being the only one who survived and we then had that awful choice to make ourselves but equally, we have had 2 cats live til old age and currently have a 15 year old and a six year old. But it never gets easier - in fact I think it gets harder. When Hendrick reached 2 and a half I thought he had acquired sufficient toad sense to keep him safe but obviously not. I feel your pain but you will be able to forgive yourself as we had to do but I will never forgive those monsters who have stolen our other babies from us and forced us to close little Hendrick's eyes one last time.

Re: Feeling low because of his anniversary coming up

Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2018 12:53 am
by Bertie 2017
Hi thanks for your reply ,yes accidents do happen ,accidents ,we have no control over ,
Yet still we feel guilty ,it took me a while ,too accept it wasn’t my flaunt ,I feel
I need too learn ,from this ,and make aware ,the dangers of washing machine doors .i never
Ever thought ,something like that ,could happen ,it’s sll down too the prong on the door .
It damaged Bertie’s spine and bladder , on the outside Bertie looked perfectly normal and
Healthy ,but his bladder ,was filling up ,without emptying ,and of course many infections
And painful ,the kindest thing was too let him go ,but it’s been the most painful thing
I have ever been through , I have improved ,but still ,I have the odd cry ,mostly in
The morning ,I do hope ,you can forgive yourself ,it wasn’t your flaunt ,I understand
Your loss and hope you will find peace soon ,and remember ,they is always people,
You can turn too ,people who ,won’t judge you , but will help and support you ,through
This ,