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Why does still hurt so much ?

Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2018 11:28 pm
by Bertie 2017
It’s been almost a year (25 November ) since I lost my dear Bertie ,and I feel ,I will never .
Ever get over it ,or move on I feel I am stuck in a rut ,reliving the same nightmare every day. ,of course if I am honest ,I do get my better days ,where I feel I am improving ,but isn’t long before ,I feel ,I am slipping back into my old ways , despair followed
By depression ,and a longing so bad it’s painful ,it’s been a while since I asked myself ,
Why did Bertie have too go ? ,haven’t I suffered enough grief and loss ? In the last four years .i have lost ,my mum ,my uncle ,and now Bertie ,so now I find I am asking this question .
Again ,I feel I am going around in circles ,these thoughts and feelings , are leaving me thinking .am I going crazy ..?. I feel sometimes ,I will crack under the pressure of it all,
Every day is a fight ,just too do the simplest of tasks and I feel everything is going wrong .
In my life ,at the moment ,it be good too have a change of luck ,something positive for .
A change , then I will feel ,life is good for a change ,letting Bertie go was the best thing
The kindest , thing I spared him a very painful death ,it was only a matter of time ,still
As you know our cats leave a huge hole in our lives ,and soul one i feel will never ever
Be filled ,their will always be a crack ,even when mended ,Bertie left a huge hole ,
In my life ,still I feel I must fight on ,rip Bertie I love you always xx

Re: Why does still hurt so much ?

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2018 2:45 am
by Policy
I lost my precious Morty about a month ago, and I haven't had a day since that hasn't included me crying. I read your post, and I certainly sympathize 100%.

I've tried to figure out why this hurts so badly. Morty was almost 18, and had kidney failure, so it wasn't like it was a surprise, but the pain is intense. I suppose because out cats are loyal, always present, and dependent on us, that when they're gone, it leaves a great big hole in our hearts.

There's nothing I can say that will make you feel better (if I knew that, I would have told myself ), but I do understand completely, and I'm sorry. I pray that it does get some better for you.

Take care, and I hope you feel better.

Re: Why does still hurt so much ?

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2018 11:09 am
by Bertie 2017
Hi thanks for your support and kind words ,my last cat Winnie was 17; years old ,when
She died ,and yes for a while ,I found it hard ,but I feel ,Berties loss is so much harder to
Accept ,Bertie was only 7 years old ,perfectly healthy ( on the outside ) now I am not saying
That because ,Winnie and your cat reached old age ,that they didn’t matter ,and you don’t
Feel the pain ,yes you certainly do ,but I feel that ,you do accept it ,easier now my feelings
Over losing my Bertie ,has left me feeling ,bitter and cheated ,and angry ,Bertie had so
Much more too live for ,we were robbed of who knows ,how many more years we could have had together ,I always say ,you expect ,your pets not too live as long as humans ,but losing Bertie so young and so soon ,has left me feeling life is so unfair and cruel sometimes, please
Excuse the self pity ,but I feel haven’t I suffered enough ,what with losing my mum and uncle ,without this on top ? Bertie kept me going through it all ,always there by my side .
Showed me that there is still good in life , I owe him so much ,anyway if you feel you
Need too talk ,I am always here ,too listen ,the only good thing too come out of this
Is the people who care and understands your loss and pain take care x