Nothing seems to help

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
Post Reply
Bertie 2017
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 103
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:24 pm
No. of cats in household: 1

Nothing seems to help

Post by Bertie 2017 » Sun Nov 18, 2018 7:18 pm

Hi ,I feel I need too write this ,because ,next Sunday is Bertie’s 1st anniversary ,losing Bertie. Has hit me harder ,than any other cat ,I have lost ,I am no stranger too pet loss ,
I usually ,have excepted my loss ,long before now ,I feel ,this grief is just dragging on ,
And I am going around in circles ,yes I am having my happy moments ,but it isn’t long .
Before the guilt sets in ,why should I be happy ? ,I buy things believing ,that will cheer me up ,no that is short lived too , I am trying too move on , and remember my Bertie ,but
I just can’t let go ,and accept he is never coming back ,Bertie was a cat that I feel was
Unique ,and special ,and stood out from the rest ,we shared a unbreakable bond that,
Not even death ,can break we understood each other ,Bertie was a naughty cat ,always
Up too no good ,couldn’t stay out of trouble ,my house always looked like we had burglars
On a daily basis ,no just a one eyed furry wrecking ball ,lol it was a daily battle of wills
One sadly I couldn’t win ,lol Bertie was always one step ahead of me ,he was trouble on
A stick ,I loved him for his character ,his personality and intelligence ,my home is far too
Quite now hard too get used too ,his litter brother basil ,is totally. Chilled laid back
And lazy completely a different cat ,too his brother , polar opposites

Nicky brown
Frequent Cat Chatter
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 3:45 pm
No. of cats in household: 2

Re: Nothing seems to help

Post by Nicky brown » Tue Nov 20, 2018 12:16 am

Hi
Poor you - I understand. It's not that we think any less of the cats we still have, it's just that sometimes you have a special extra bond - could be to do with personalities or age or circumstances or just a special moment shared together. I've been getting annoyed with my other two as all they ever want is food. You can't leave the room without being followed or have a cuppa without the nose twitching. Hendrick was different - very patient and mannerly. I wonder if it was the German Rex in his gene pool. He was unique for that. Tortie half German Rex meets cuddly bag puss ginger Tom equals very handsome Hendrick. We named him after the gin and took photos of him next to the bottles and sent the photos to Hendrick's gin. I was dusting the bottles yesterday - memories flooding back. When I lost my last baby I cried for 5 weeks then got Hendrick. I lost Hendrick 5 weeks on Friday - makes me think of both losses. I'm too sad and too worried to go through it again. When I lost Toulouse at 11 months I was determined to keep Hendrick safe and tried so hard but it's impossible. Like yours, he was a daredevil and always up to nonsense . As I've said before - I wouldn't be surprised if was chasing squirrels when he was hurt and he blended in with all the autumn leaves at the road side. Toulouse was lost on a warm spring night when the cats were all out chasing rabbits. There's never a safe time. And accidents in the home I understand too - I've mentioned before Hendrick's severed leg after he smashed the goldfish bowl and today both my daughter and husband accidently stood on Hobb's tail - in his constant quest for food, he is always under your feet.
What do we do? Give up having cats because of the pain ? It's very tempting right now that's for sure but they are such lovely companions who fill our photograph albums and unlike our children, make the friendliest of teenagers. Maybe you should get another companion for Basil, especially as Basil is not an old cat. You will never replace Bertie like I never replaced Toulouse but it helps fill the void in your heart.

Bertie 2017
VIP Cat Chatter!
Posts: 103
Joined: Thu Aug 30, 2018 8:24 pm
No. of cats in household: 1

Re: Nothing seems to help

Post by Bertie 2017 » Tue Nov 20, 2018 5:36 am

Hi Nicky thanks for your reply ,I understand your finding it hard still ,you mustn’t blame
Yourself for Hendticks road accident ,as I have said before ,something’s are out of our
Control ,if we could see the future ,we could stop these things from happening ,and save
Ourselves from this pain and heartbreak ,sadly we cart ,but knowing that doesn’t make it
Easier ,Bertie was a out door cat ,always bringing home stuff he shouldn’t have like
Toads , still I give him his freedom ,I d never ever expected him too go from a accident in
The home ,you hear how cats and dogs get their tails trapped in all sorts of things ,
But would never dream ,it would lead too spine and bladder damage ,I understand your flash
Backs ,because I still get them ,from time to time , I replaced the washing machine but
Still have too face ,the spot where it happened ,and still feel bitter and cheated ,I expect
I always will ,but I take each day as it comes ,and fight on ,and hopefully One day I will .
Have a break through ,,but I like yourself ,have a ways to go ,but I know we will support
And be there for each other ,as well as everyone else who has lost a beloved cat ,we all
Have grief in common ,and are not alone in this journey ,I hope you find peace soon and
Will stop being so hard on yourself ,grief dos a good enough job on its own xx

Post Reply