Really missing my boy Bertie

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Bertie 2017
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Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Bertie 2017 » Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:22 am

I am really feeling low and depressed ,and lost at the moment ,and feeling life is so unfair ,
And cruel ,Bertie was my sunshine ,my whole world ,my everything ,,this year has been so
Hard ,and painful ,often at times ,I have felt ,like I couldn’t ,keep hanging on ,it has
Taken so much from me ,and left me ,feeling depressed and drained ,and often ,I worry
That ,I will lose my other cat basil ,because none of us really know ,what’s around the corner .i never dreamed ,I’d lose Bertie ,so young ,and the way he was taken ,yes I have forgiven
Myself ,for what was ,a freak accident ,but that doesn’t stop me missing him ,like crazy ,
I didn’t know grief could be this deep ,I cart seem ,too shake ,it off ,it tells me how much .
I loved my Bertie ,(maybe too much ) and what a huge hole ,they is left to fill in ,i I still
Stick by my beliefs,that I will never ever get another cat ,or pet for that matter ,I feel
I need to ,sheld myself ,from all the pain and heartbreak ,my grief has nearly destroyed me.
And even left me ,feeling ,I am better off dead ,I went too see the doctor ,who put me
On antidepressants,they seemed too work ,for a while ,felt in a haze ,but sadly that’s worn
Off ,I just hope ,2019 ,will be a better year ,I long for the day when ,I don’t feel this way
Bertie maybe at peace,but my soul is in totally turmoil ,

issiandarchie+68
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by issiandarchie+68 » Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:01 pm

Hi Bertie. This morning I read your latest post and felt a sense of utter dismay. Now you and other forum members may not agree with or even like what I am going to say but I believe your dark thoughts and feelings, as you describe them, have gone way beyond your understandable grief for the loss of your beloved pet. I say this kindly, as I know only too well the crushing anguish, exhaustion and terrible depression following on the loss of pets, a child, a grandchild, as do many others. I do now wonder though if a 'Cat' forum alone is still the place for you to seek help for your obvious suffering?? I was fortunate to be offered group counselling by my kindly GP which I declined, having a ready made support network of family, as did my sister when grieving for her husband, dog, 19yr old grandchild, all deceased in the space of a few short, hellish months. I mention this simply because try as I might to read between the lines, I can see no indication such support is available to you. By your own admission, your family are 'moving on as if nothing has happened'. I feel strongly that you should return to your GP asap, seek a more suitable long term medication, there are hundreds out there, and ask to be referred for one to one counselling. In the meantime, I implore you to seek out a local support group of fellow sufferers, join them and talk face to face about your feelings of black despair. You never know, you may find a purpose in helping others by simply listening and being a shoulder to cry on. Please do forgive me for saying this, but from the tone of your posts, it's obvious you need immediate professional help, you simply cannot go on like this.
Warm virtual hugs heading your way this Sunday.
Issi
Last edited by issiandarchie+68 on Sun Nov 25, 2018 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Lilith
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Lilith » Sun Nov 25, 2018 7:03 am

Hi, I understand it's the first anniversary today, thinking about you and Bertie x

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Janey
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Janey » Sun Nov 25, 2018 2:13 pm

Thinking of you today, take care x

Bertie 2017
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Bertie 2017 » Tue Nov 27, 2018 4:25 am

Hi everyone ,thanks so much for your support ,I got through Bertie’s 1st anniversary ,better
Than I thought ,in fact ,I felt at peace , I made a decision ,too become a cats Protection ,
Sponsor ,too help cats ,that are unsuitable ,for new homes ,this way I feel ,that I am doing
Some good ,for a change ,I re read your posts ,a few times ,and believe ,I have spent too ,
Much time ,feeling negative ,that I believe ,is why ,I am going around in circles ,but also
Because ,Bertie was my whole world ,my everything ,I knew it would be hard ,too let go
Hopefully this little step ,will be a positive thing ,one of many ,I often hear people say the ,
First year ,is the worst , 2018 has been a bad year ,I am ,looking forward too 2019 ,I have
Plans put in place ,,one being ,too becoming a blue cross ,per breavment ,listener ,they
Run a helpline , for people who are ,suffering a pet loss ,I find this service ,a god send .
They bare been there ,every step of the way ,they have only a hundred volunteers ,so I feel
Joining them ,would be a good thing ,helping others ,through ,their grief , breavment is a
Journey ,that you feel ,your are going alone ,but aside from family ,I have had lots of
Support ,and understanding ,getting me through this ,of course ,I do have my moments .
This I believe ,is normal ,I feel it was the anniversary ,that upset me thanks x

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Janey
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Janey » Tue Nov 27, 2018 7:37 am

I think that that the way you’ve decided to move on from this is a wonderful, to now help others as you can empathise with how they feel. You are right the pain of loss does takes time to heal and helping others like yourself, I think, will also help you.

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Lilith
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Lilith » Tue Nov 27, 2018 10:46 am

You'll get there - though it's hard. Time of course is the remedy, though that's cold comfort when you're going through a bereavement. I too know what it's like, expressing feelings in private to save my sanity (such as it is lol) and presenting a normal (or what passes for in my case) face to the outward world. I hope you achieve your ambition - you will have so much insight into what people are feeling.

All the very very best x

Bertie 2017
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Re: Really missing my boy Bertie

Post by Bertie 2017 » Tue Nov 27, 2018 6:46 pm

Hi thanks for your support ,I feel now ,my Bertie’s anniversary has come ,I feel in much better sprits ,now I am not saying that I would have my moments ,but as you have said ,helping others,will be good for me and with that in mind,I will always be there for you all.
I understand the ,pain that comes with a pet loss ,too me my cats are family ,my furry kids I call them ,over the course of this year I have heard so many hurtful comments ,from people
Who just doesn’t understand ,my loss ,it’s painful enough without ,hurtful things being said ,
So being among like minded friends ,is priceless ,people ,you can be honest without feeling ashamed ,and who ,makes you understand,these feelings and emotions and perfectly normal.
And most importantly ,understands that bond you shared with your cat ,it’s a bond not
Even death ,can break ,I still love my Bertie ,even ,with him ,not being here ,I keep his memories alive ,every day ,plus I have his litter brother basil ,I often spot him looking
Outside ,lost in thought ,I wonder is he looking for his brother ? I sometimes wish ,I could
Ask him ,there is so much ,about cats we don’t fully understand ,Basil seems happy and contented ,I am glad because ,I feel I will never ever have another cat ,still only time can tell,losing Bertie nearly destroyed me ,worse grief I have ever been through x

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