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My heart is still in a million pieces

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:15 am
by Bertie 2017
Hi ,I am now entering into my second year without my dear Bertie ,and too honest ,the first year ,didn’t effect me as much , as I expected it too,but now it’s hit me ,so hard ,the
Reality ,that Bertie is never ever coming back ,of course I knew that ,but knowing that
Is making me feel so angry ,I feel it boiling up inside ,( please don’t post any wise cracks
About I may be mentally ill ,) I feel so cheated ,that my cat was taken so soon ,and so
Young ,I see my friends and family ,just getting on with their lives ,happy and so care
Free ,talking about holidays ,what plans they have ,that Was me so long ago ,and now
My life has been torn apart ,into a million pieces , I feel so broken ,in mind and body .
I feel I need advice about ,releasing my anger ,my hurt my pain ,and more importantly
Learning to ( in time ) let go ,of course I hear on a daily basis ,It was his time ,everything
Happens for a reason ,etc these words I feel ,leave me no comfort ,what’s so ever ,in
Fact ,I feel no one understands ,the bond and love I had for Bertie ,and how I am feeling
Now , yes some would say ,isn’t it time you put all this behind you ? ,but I can’t I feel
My grief is too strong for that ,and I am so devastated , in fact I will never ever get
Another cat because of it ,that’s how bad I feel ,it isn’t worth the heartbreak

Re: My heart is still in a million pieces

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 2:26 pm
by Lilith
No, grief is NOT mental illness, although if you've experienced mental illness (I speak from experience, being classed as long-term 'severe and enduring' mentally ill) it's possible to have become accustomed to the kind of horrors that surround grief. (Coping with them may be another matter.) But to have had no experience of them and then be plunged into those horrors - that must be appalling.

And grief does last. It can lift, and then come back, but it stays with you for a long time ... ironic that in the end time is often the only remedy - at least on the surface. I don't think the pain ever goes away but you end up living with it. And in a way that pain is a measure of your love.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this x

Re: My heart is still in a million pieces

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 6:49 pm
by alanc
I read recently that it usually takes at least 2 years to overcome grief. That said, the only way I have found to overcome the loss of a cat is to get another one, but that may not be the best solution for you.

Re: My heart is still in a million pieces

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:08 pm
by Bertie 2017
Hi thank you both so much ,for your kind words and support ,yes sadly I have learned grief .
Hasn’t got a time table ,and I feel because Bertie ,was only seven years old ,I feel very
Cheated , and angry by it ,and yes you’re right ,the only cure ,for grief ,is grief ,I often
Say it’s like being on a rollercoaster ,many ups and downs , you just have too hold on tight .
Till hopefully some day soon ,the ride will stop ,as for another cat ,in my heart ,I feel
It’s too soon ,or maybe never ,who knows what the future holds ,? But of the many things ,
I have learned ,from losing my dear Bertie , this grief is different ,from many I have experienced ,before ,and trust me ,I am no stranger too it ,this loss has almost ,destroyed
Me ,yes my heart will mend ,but I am afraid ,too love another cat ,in case ,it happens again .
Yes every cat mum ,knows her cat ,will go one day ,but I am afraid to love again ,the price
Of grief ,is too higher price too pay ,still it’s early days , and only time will tell ,

Thanks again xx

Re: My heart is still in a million pieces

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 10:24 pm
by Jules20
My dearest Bertie this is such a long hard road.
I lost my dad 7 years ago and it honestly took me about 4 years to find acceptance as my dad was my world. My Merlin was 20 years old so I should be able to look back and say he had a good long life (and he did) but as ridiculous as it may sound I feel cheated and angry too, if it wasn't for the cancer that came and took him so quickly he would still be here now. Yes we know that one day they will go but it's hard to imagine a time without them and no time is ever long enough. We can only plod along this painful road and hope that it will ease in time.
I feel the same about getting another cat, I think it will be a long time before I'm ready and don't know if I ever will be but as you say only time will tell.

Much love to you Julia x

Re: My heart is still in a million pieces

Posted: Mon Feb 04, 2019 8:02 pm
by Bertie 2017
Hi jules thanks as always ,for your kind words and support ,yes ,I believe Bertie would be
Here ,if it wasn’t for the freak accident ,that caused me ,too have make that heartbreaking
Decision ,too put him too sleep ,he was perfectly happy and normal as I cat could be ,
As you have said ,it’s harder to understand and accept ,and you grief for the years
And memories ,you lost out on ,because who knows .bertie could have lived ,too
A ripe old age ,but sadly I have too ,try to accept and be grateful and cherish ,the
Years we had together ,and the many happy memories and time s we shared ,
They are priceless