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Losing Lucy

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2019 1:38 am
by Hipkit
Lucy suddenly became unwell on March 14th; she stopped eating and began drinking a lot of water. The evening before, when I called my cats in just before sunset, she was missing for several hours, not coming home until around midnight.
I took her to the vet, he ran blood tests which came back clear, but suspected FIP because of her swollen abdomen. She was approximately 16 years old.
She completely refused to eat, becoming so weak that she found walking difficult. I began syringe feeding her, but eventually she needed to be supported at the vet hospital.
She died at the hospital on April 4th.
I collected her body. On April 5th a couple of friends helped me to dig her grave in my garden. We laid her to rest with a simple pagan ceremony.

During the time of her illness and while grieving I've been keeping a journal in which I've written about my feelings concerning her death, all the things I wish we'd done together (she was an ex-feral and wouldn't allow me to cuddle her to show her how much she was loved). I've written anything to help cope with the loss.

I have two cats: Cydric (Lucy's son) and Victoria (unrelated). Cydric has become very subdued and obviously misses his mother. They used to cuddle together and groom each other. Lucy and Victoria were also close, cuddling together and grooming. But Cydric and Victoria have never been particularly close. They are now spending the evenings and rainy days in separate rooms: Cyd sleeps in the lounge whereas Victoria goes into one of the bedrooms. The life seems to have gone out of them.

I feel that one of the best things I can do for Lucy now is to take good care of her son and her friend. Later, I'll post in the rehoming part of the forum about perhaps taking in another cat.

There's a tremendous sadness hanging over the house; it lifted temporarily during the good weather. Journalling has helped tremendously to process the grief, but it's been only three weeks since she passed. I've tried to comfort myself with the fact that I gave her ten good years: she was a feral before I rescued her family who all had cat 'flu. My household is quiet and she was never troubled with unwanted attention, but always regularly fed and had a warm home to sleep in, and medical care when needed. She also had a varied life. While she was a feral in the previous area I lived, she spent her time kittening and fighting for survival; a big change to the life she later had with me.

I'm slowly accepting the situation. She was a lovely cat, always with a blissful maternal smile as though she wanted to mother the world.
You were a great cat, Lucy.

Re: Losing Lucy

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2019 7:34 am
by Lilith
Hah, another Pagan - there are quite a few of us on the forum, but as you'll know, obviously, having a faith and a belief in the afterlife doesn't prevent grief when someone leaves us.

Your tribute to Lucy reminds me of my Emily (avatar) who was also feral and moved in - with 5 kittens - all gingers! She too was motherly; after the CP homed her kittens and spayed her she nattered all the time (Lil, what are you doing and why are you doing it?) She left me last August at 17 (ckd.) Still an empty space beside me here and I feel guilty about stupid things, like avoiding the smell of her breath; she couldn't help it and I still hate myself for minding. Emmy and I were lucky that she was able to stay with me till the last moment; one day she suddenly began to fail and the vet came out to the house; I'm so sorry you had to lose Lucy in hospital. But you were doing your best for her.

It all stays with you doesn't it?

She had love and a good life with you. But we feel guilty when we can't prevent them from dying.

I hope you and Cydric and Victoria begin to heal soon and that someone arrives when the time is right to fill the space Lucy left. She will be waiting for you all one day. Hugs and love x

Re: Losing Lucy

Posted: Fri Apr 26, 2019 10:49 pm
by Hipkit
Thank you so much for your kind words Lilith.

I hope she's now snuggled, like a kitten, into Bastet's warm fur, resting till she's ready to be born again.

The evening's are worst. I'm used to my cats being out in the garden during the day, but keep them in at night. That's when I notice one is missing. It would be unfair to bring a new cat into this gloom, so I'll give it a little while. I think Cydric especially, would like a friend.
A 7 years plus female, a little nervous - perhaps semi feral - who gets on well with other cats, perhaps. I've always prefered cats from The Last Chance Saloon.

Blessed Be.

Re: Losing Lucy

Posted: Sun May 05, 2019 11:12 pm
by Bertie 2017
Hi so sorry about Lucy ,it did sound like ,she was sick ,and I think digging her a resting place
Was lovely ,did she have a favourite spot in the garden ? ,I admire you for taking on a feral cat,because they are so misunderstood,and unloved by many ,I had a feral cat many years ago ,you give them the time ,and you will be rewarded ,saying that ,I am sure you will miss
Lucy very much ,and your other cats will be too , you give her a home too feel safe in ,
And of course ,lots of love , I lost Bertie in 2017 , and I still love and miss him so much ,

Take care and remember we are here for you