my cat died and i blame myself

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mike+
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my cat died and i blame myself

Post by mike+ » Wed May 13, 2020 3:30 pm

my cat dora was 2yrs old ,we got her and 4 siblings when a stray cat had kittens in our house we kept them all.last november i bought a box of cat treats from a well known shop and dora had a few ,within a few hours dora was sick and bloody diarrhoea next day went to vets kept her in said she had gastroenteritis next day she died of heart failure and pulmonary oedema was their to say goodbye so heartbreaking.vet said she was poisoned suspected rodent poison because she loved catching mice. but i blame treats i bought and everyday since it's on my mind it's my fault i feel so guilty i bought them .go round in a daze, sometimes angry ,sometimes crying ,sometimes numb ,other days want something bad to happen to me so i can feel pain as well. just want a proper answer but to late now so i live life wondering what if i didn't buy them,go to different vet or gone to vet earlier just so hard ,...sorry for going on to long...

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Mollycat
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Re: my cat died and i blame myself

Post by Mollycat » Wed May 13, 2020 6:14 pm

So sorry for your awful loss. It's only natural to blame ourselves and always wonder if we did something wrong or if we could have done something better, especially with the shock of losing such a young life.

Even though pet foods don't undergo the same stringent tests that human food does, it is still subject to some regulations. It's always possible poor Dora could have had some allergy you didn't know about of course, but that really doesn't sound like an allergy. I'm sure your vet knows what they're talking about as they are well trained in poisoning cases and recognising symptoms. Allergies don't normally cause immediate heart problems though they can do over years due to the inflammation. The risk with severe allergies is anaphylactic shock, which would happen immediately not the next day. This is just logic and I know it won't help ease your pain and distress and guilt, but logically it's extremely unlikely to have been the treats.

But that nagging voice of self doubt and the what-ifs and if-onlys are so persistent and such an easy place to get stuck in our grieving process, a thick and all-consuming dark bog sucking us down and stopping us from starting the journey towards coming to terms. I watched a film yesterday, Collateral Beauty, and one line comes to mind - when something begins with a child dying, nothing is ever going to feel right. It isn't right, losing a two year old cat that should have had so many more years to share with you, never will be. But it isn't anything you did wrong either. Be a little kinder to yourself, you love Dora and would never have done anything to harm her in any way, and she knows that.

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fjm
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Re: my cat died and i blame myself

Post by fjm » Wed May 13, 2020 6:16 pm

It is very understandable - we all try to find a reason when hit by tragedy, and think What-if? and If-only? But it is very, very unlikely that a few treats from a reputable source were the cause of her illness, and far more likely to be something she caught and ate outside, just as the vet says. You did everything you could - you kept an eye on her when she began to be ill and took her to the vet when it got worse, and I am sure the vets also did everything possible to save her. I think you need to accept that the vet is right - this was not caused by anything you did or did not do, but was a true accident. Guilt is corrosive - Dora loved you and knew that you loved her. Would she want you to be so desperately unhappy, about something you had no control over?

mike+
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Re: my cat died and i blame myself

Post by mike+ » Thu May 14, 2020 12:39 pm

thank you all for these kind words very much appreciated does help alot .xx

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