No one else gets it

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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No one else gets it

Post by Minoulebeige » Sat Aug 15, 2020 4:54 pm

Less than two weeks ago, we had our cat, Peregrine, euthanized. He was 19. He had kidney disease which eventually caused blindness which was really distressing for him. My 12-year-old son cried and got over it. My friends were all sympathetic at first, but are now hinting that it's time to move on and sending me tips on coping with depression. We got a couple new kittens, and they're cute and distracting, but I still hurt.

Every morning for 19 years, I woke up and fed Peregrine and cleaned his box and then, while I had my coffee, we just sat together. For the last year, I've had to give him subcutaneous fluids, so we had that time together as well. He was an old fashioned Siamese, the kind of cat who follows you everywhere and comments on everything. Even when he was blind, he always met me at the door when I came home and he only missed my son's bedtime stories once, toward the end when he first lost his sight. During his last weeks, he couldn't be left alone, as I had to lift him on and off furniture and sort him out when he got stuck in a corner and couldn't figure out where he was.

Now I wake up to kittens skittering around, but no solid, reliable old friend to just sit and be with. I still cry every morning.

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Re: No one else gets it

Post by Bertie 2017 » Tue Aug 18, 2020 7:58 pm

Hi yes I do get it ,after I lost my Bertie ,in November 2017 ,I discovered ,that understanding
And sympathy ,Thin on the ground b,Xmas 2017 was hell ,I had a total meltdown right in
Front of the people I thought knew and cared ,I am talking about my family and friends ,
I was accused of spoiling Xmas for everyone ,no hugs or an kind word from anyone ,including
My brother ,who just told me ,too forget about it ,so yes I do get it ,and I send my thoughts
Too you and your family ,then is no time limit on grief ,that much I have learned ,and if
You loved your cat ,as I did my Bertie ,I understand you must be devastated ,I lost my Bertie
When he was seven years old ,he was my whole world ,seven or nineteen ,age doesn’t matter
The loss is the same ,I am sure you have lots of happy memories ,it may not feel like it ,
At the moment ,but those memories will bring you comfort in time ,and the kittens will
Grow in your heart , although they will never ever take the place of the cat you lost ,
No cat ever will , I send hugs too you all ,take care and remember always use this website
Too unburdened yourself ,people here do care and support and understand what you ,
Are going through , xx

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Re: No one else gets it

Post by Chelle61 » Thu Oct 01, 2020 7:01 pm

Oh believe me I do get it and I'm sure many others do too.
I lost my beautiful Shandy on the 4th September 2020 and I am devastated. Shandy and I were a team, he understood me and I him. We had a relationship and he can't be replaced. I can't even imagine having another pet - for 19 years it was just him and me. He wasn't just a cat, he was my friend, my confidante, he was a huge part of my life and centre of my home. We had routines and our little rituals, he got me up in the morning and lay with me at night. I know I was blessed to have him so long. You are not on your own and if those around you don't understand then shame on them. I do believe I will meet my Shandy again but that doesn't take away the pain I feel nor does it fill the Shandy sized hole inside me. Please don't feel you are on your own because you aren't. I loved my cat and I will grieve for him for a long time. In time maybe he will send me another cat that needs my care but I can't help feeling another cat will find me rather than me look for him. You will love your kittens but they won't replace your little friend and nor should they, they can't replace him.
I can only reiterate everything Berties Human has posted.
I don't know what I'm going to do without my Shandy, every day I miss him and long to give him a cuddle. He had a tumour in the neck of his bladder and there was nothing anyone could do and I haven't been able to sit in my living room since the day he died as that is where the vet put him out of his pain. Grief is grief don't try and fight it, it will take it's course.
Take care and remember you are not alone. Love has a price and sometimes it feels much to high. xxx

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Re: No one else gets it

Post by fjm » Thu Oct 01, 2020 7:21 pm

Peregrine sounds like a lovely cat and a true friend. After nearly 20 years together his loss must leave a huge hole in your life - you knew him long before your son was born; you were young together, grew up together, and you nursed him through his last declining months, every hour of the day marked by the routine of his needs and his company. The kittens will, I am sure, help your son, and the antics of innocent babies may be a welcome distraction, but they cannot begin to give you the sort of easy companionship that comes from years together. Ignore friends who do not understand - or pity them for never having known that closeness. Anyone who has known it understands very well what you are feeling - an essential part of your life is suddenly gone, and you need time to grieve and come to terms with it. I hope there is comfort in knowing you did everything possible to make his life happy, right to the end, and then helped him to an easy passing when that time came.

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