Sudden death of young cat
Posted: Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:05 am
Hi all,
I need an outlet as I’m struggling with what I had to do two days ago. I’ll give a bit of back story for context first. I’m early forties, married with two kids. I’ve had a cat in my life since I was about 5 years old. When my wife and I first moved in together we got a rescue cat. Three houses and many years later she had to be put down due to cancer. After many months we were ready to get another cat. I’d always wanted a British Blue and I was now able to afford to buy one. I found a breeder chose an all grey male kitten and picked him up a few weeks later when he was old enough. In the day I collected him there was a female kitten left in the litter so I got her too. At the time my eldest child was 5 and my youngest was 1. We named them Charlie & Lola after the TV series we all loved to watch.
Fast forward 8 years. Lola is a great cat but she only really needs us for food and a little bit of affection. Charlie, on the other hand, is my boy. He runs in when I open the front door in the morning to get the milk. Then he will be in our bedroom, resting on our bed whilst we all get ready. I work mostly from home. If I go out he’s waiting on the drive to greet me when I return. He sleeps all day in the office with me. He jumps up on my desk and lies on it with his front paws over my arm and then rests his chin on it too. In the evening he’ll be where ever I am. If I get into bed to watch TV he’ll lie on my chest or on the bed with his head resting ion me. Always has to have part of himself on me.
When my wife and kids are home in the evenings and weekends he would have his special time and routine for each of them. Over the years he has developed a close bond with all four of us.
He would spend time with mum on the sofa watching TV in the evenings. Never with me. Those times were for mum. Next to her on the arm of the sofa or snuggled up with her. He would spend time with each child as they go to bed or sometimes just be with them in there room or on the sofa with them whilst they read a book. He never liked being picked up by me and would wriggle free. However, my youngest child, who loves him to bits and would sometimes want him to sit with her on the sofa, would pick him up and carry him through to the lounge. He wouldn’t wriggle free but just let her. Never once did he ever scratch any of us, ever. When playing with him, he’d use his big paws with his claws retracted. He was a gentle giant with us and just the best cat/friend in the world to us all.
More recently, we all went away for 2 weeks and upon our return we noticed right away that Charlie’s purr sounded odd. We called the vet the next day. The vet knows Charlie well and knows how distressed vet visits are for him. He said he would put him under and have a look. He called not long after and explained that he’d found a lump quite far down his throat. He took a pic and sent it over to me. The lump took up half the diameter of his windpipe. The vet said it was either a cut that had become infected or a growth that could be cancerous or not. The plan was a course of antibiotics and get him back in a week to have another look. Best case scenario would be the lump was healing up otherwise he’d do a biopsy to be sent away for testing. If it wasn’t cancerous then this could be removed. If it was cancerous then we could discuss options at that point. Over the week we could tell he wasn’t himself. He didn’t want to be stroked. His purr became louder. He couldn’t meow and he started sleeping in the cloakroom.
So, this Friday, we took Charlie back so the vet could check with the hope the lump had healed although we knew in our hearts that it hadn’t as he wasn’t any better and didn’t seem himself. He was however eating very well.
The vet called after about 30 minutes and said it wasn’t good news at all. Not only had the lump grown substantially but it was now distorting his trachea. He gave us two options. Bring Charlie home for the weekend to say goodbye or, as Charlie was already asleep with general anesthetic, let the vet euthanize him right away. The vet explained that Charlie would be in a massive amount of pain and if we brought him home he may start to struggle to breath. He said he was amazed that he’d managed to eat anything at all and could tell by the way he was breathing under the GA that he would have to force his breathing when awake. He said he would understand our decision but that if it was his own cat, and knowing how stressful Charlie found vet visits, he would euthanize right away.
I talked with my wife first and then quickly explained to the kids and all agreed we’d only be bringing him home for our benefit and that it would only be more pain for Charlie and the possibility of dying by suffocating.
I messaged work to say I wouldn’t be available that day and we all spent the day in tears. I struggled to sleep that night and the next day more tears. Everything reminds us of him because he’s not where he should be. No greeting at the door in the morning. No cat on our bed. Not with us in the lounge. Not saying goodnight to the kids. I’m dreading working as he won’t be with me in the office. I haven’t seen his ‘body’ as he’s being cremated so I’m questioning if he’s actually dead. I’m questioning whether we should have brought him home for the weekend so we could tell him we’re sorry, we love him and goodbye even though I know he wouldn’t understand any of our words but would be in pain and also wondering why we are all so upset.
I’m already thinking of buying another cat to fill the massive void he’s left but I know no other cat will. I feel completely blindsided by how much I miss him. I wasn’t prepared to not have him in my life now. He should be with me for many more years. I feel angry that this has happened to such a kind soul. He didn’t deserve this. It’s unfathomably unfair. I can’t fix this. I can’t fill the void he’s left. I can’t explain to Charlie why this happened but I need to.
I’m a mess without my irreplaceable, loving sidekick.
Has anybody moved forward from this type of situation? I know it’s early days but I have never had these feelings before. I’ve never lost anybody that I saw every waking moment. I’ve never missed anybody this much before.
If you got this far, thanks for reading.
Regards,
Charlie’s dad
I need an outlet as I’m struggling with what I had to do two days ago. I’ll give a bit of back story for context first. I’m early forties, married with two kids. I’ve had a cat in my life since I was about 5 years old. When my wife and I first moved in together we got a rescue cat. Three houses and many years later she had to be put down due to cancer. After many months we were ready to get another cat. I’d always wanted a British Blue and I was now able to afford to buy one. I found a breeder chose an all grey male kitten and picked him up a few weeks later when he was old enough. In the day I collected him there was a female kitten left in the litter so I got her too. At the time my eldest child was 5 and my youngest was 1. We named them Charlie & Lola after the TV series we all loved to watch.
Fast forward 8 years. Lola is a great cat but she only really needs us for food and a little bit of affection. Charlie, on the other hand, is my boy. He runs in when I open the front door in the morning to get the milk. Then he will be in our bedroom, resting on our bed whilst we all get ready. I work mostly from home. If I go out he’s waiting on the drive to greet me when I return. He sleeps all day in the office with me. He jumps up on my desk and lies on it with his front paws over my arm and then rests his chin on it too. In the evening he’ll be where ever I am. If I get into bed to watch TV he’ll lie on my chest or on the bed with his head resting ion me. Always has to have part of himself on me.
When my wife and kids are home in the evenings and weekends he would have his special time and routine for each of them. Over the years he has developed a close bond with all four of us.
He would spend time with mum on the sofa watching TV in the evenings. Never with me. Those times were for mum. Next to her on the arm of the sofa or snuggled up with her. He would spend time with each child as they go to bed or sometimes just be with them in there room or on the sofa with them whilst they read a book. He never liked being picked up by me and would wriggle free. However, my youngest child, who loves him to bits and would sometimes want him to sit with her on the sofa, would pick him up and carry him through to the lounge. He wouldn’t wriggle free but just let her. Never once did he ever scratch any of us, ever. When playing with him, he’d use his big paws with his claws retracted. He was a gentle giant with us and just the best cat/friend in the world to us all.
More recently, we all went away for 2 weeks and upon our return we noticed right away that Charlie’s purr sounded odd. We called the vet the next day. The vet knows Charlie well and knows how distressed vet visits are for him. He said he would put him under and have a look. He called not long after and explained that he’d found a lump quite far down his throat. He took a pic and sent it over to me. The lump took up half the diameter of his windpipe. The vet said it was either a cut that had become infected or a growth that could be cancerous or not. The plan was a course of antibiotics and get him back in a week to have another look. Best case scenario would be the lump was healing up otherwise he’d do a biopsy to be sent away for testing. If it wasn’t cancerous then this could be removed. If it was cancerous then we could discuss options at that point. Over the week we could tell he wasn’t himself. He didn’t want to be stroked. His purr became louder. He couldn’t meow and he started sleeping in the cloakroom.
So, this Friday, we took Charlie back so the vet could check with the hope the lump had healed although we knew in our hearts that it hadn’t as he wasn’t any better and didn’t seem himself. He was however eating very well.
The vet called after about 30 minutes and said it wasn’t good news at all. Not only had the lump grown substantially but it was now distorting his trachea. He gave us two options. Bring Charlie home for the weekend to say goodbye or, as Charlie was already asleep with general anesthetic, let the vet euthanize him right away. The vet explained that Charlie would be in a massive amount of pain and if we brought him home he may start to struggle to breath. He said he was amazed that he’d managed to eat anything at all and could tell by the way he was breathing under the GA that he would have to force his breathing when awake. He said he would understand our decision but that if it was his own cat, and knowing how stressful Charlie found vet visits, he would euthanize right away.
I talked with my wife first and then quickly explained to the kids and all agreed we’d only be bringing him home for our benefit and that it would only be more pain for Charlie and the possibility of dying by suffocating.
I messaged work to say I wouldn’t be available that day and we all spent the day in tears. I struggled to sleep that night and the next day more tears. Everything reminds us of him because he’s not where he should be. No greeting at the door in the morning. No cat on our bed. Not with us in the lounge. Not saying goodnight to the kids. I’m dreading working as he won’t be with me in the office. I haven’t seen his ‘body’ as he’s being cremated so I’m questioning if he’s actually dead. I’m questioning whether we should have brought him home for the weekend so we could tell him we’re sorry, we love him and goodbye even though I know he wouldn’t understand any of our words but would be in pain and also wondering why we are all so upset.
I’m already thinking of buying another cat to fill the massive void he’s left but I know no other cat will. I feel completely blindsided by how much I miss him. I wasn’t prepared to not have him in my life now. He should be with me for many more years. I feel angry that this has happened to such a kind soul. He didn’t deserve this. It’s unfathomably unfair. I can’t fix this. I can’t fill the void he’s left. I can’t explain to Charlie why this happened but I need to.
I’m a mess without my irreplaceable, loving sidekick.
Has anybody moved forward from this type of situation? I know it’s early days but I have never had these feelings before. I’ve never lost anybody that I saw every waking moment. I’ve never missed anybody this much before.
If you got this far, thanks for reading.
Regards,
Charlie’s dad