Struggling to cope

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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Hayley
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Struggling to cope

Post by Hayley »

I lost my beautiful girl and i cant stop crying.
It was so sudden. My boyfriend and i noticed she hadnt been eating in the last 24hrs so i contacted an emergency vet. They told me it i shouldnt be too concerned because shes alert.
The next day she still hadnt eaten so my boyfriend took her in for tests.
I got the call from him in work that they had ran tests and she has kidney failure. It could have come on so suddenly and theres nothing we can do. She was really suffering.
We had to make the decision for her to be put to sleep or leave her on a drip which wouldnt have done much but prolong it at that point.
Due to covid i couldnt be in the room with her when it happened. I got 10 mins with her in the car before i had to give her back. I feel like i left her and im devistated.
I keep wondering if this is some how my fault. The vet assured me it isnt and it just happens to cats sometimes but my dad asked me "what i fed her" and now i cant stop thinking i didnt do something i should of. I literally loved her more than anything in the world and now shes gone.
This cat has been the most stable thing in my life for 6 years and helped me out of my depression, now i dont know what to do because i feel like my heart is broken to pieces.
I got her a few months into moving into my flat and im due to move soon and i just want to be out faster now because it doesnt feel like a home anymore.
I feel like im annoying all my friends with it because i cant stop thinking about her.
When will the pain stop?
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Kay
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Re: Struggling to cope

Post by Kay »

the pain won't stop but it will recede, and let in happier memories of the joy she brought you

sadly us animal lovers will have to say goodbye to more than one companion during our lifetimes - that's just the way it is - but the pain of saying goodbye doesn't negate the years of love and affection shared

it's very natural to blame yourself, but kidney disease is very much the most common ailment cats suffer from, and the disease is often well advanced before it shows itself - she didn't have time to suffer, and that is something to be glad about, but of course you will miss her, and mourn her, and remember her for some time to come, because you loved her
Hayley
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Re: Struggling to cope

Post by Hayley »

Thank you. It helps to know that it wasnt my fault and she knows she was very loved x
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fjm
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Re: Struggling to cope

Post by fjm »

I am so sorry. As Kay says, kidney disease is extremely common in older cats, and by the time there are definite symptoms it can be too late to do anything. It is part of human nature to feel guilty and to look for ways blame ourselves, but you have nothing to reproach yourself for. Losing our animals when our lives are so closely interwoven is horribly painful - grief hurts both physically and emotionally, and only time can begin to ease it.

Do talk to us here, if you need someone to listen. Most of us have known something of what you are going through, and can understand.
Hayley
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Re: Struggling to cope

Post by Hayley »

Thank you
These few comments have helped.
She was only 6 and the emergency vet i spoke to the night before said it wont be that because i looked at ehat it could be abd scared myself with it. The bet who told me she had it told me that it does just happen sometimes to cats and it can be really sudden and could have literally happened within the week.
Ive never felt pain like this x
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Mollycat
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Re: Struggling to cope

Post by Mollycat »

So sorry for your loss. 6 is so young, kidneys are a weak spot in all felines not just domestic cats, usually older but sometimes they can fail in much younger cats too. You haven't done anything wrong. Even if you had taken her in earlier, it's virtually impossible the vet could have done anything, there is no cure for kidney failure sadly.

Your lovely girl was loved and still is, and I'm sure she knew it to her last breath and beyond. You know when we're asleep or go out to work or shopping, they don't think we have abandoned them or that we don't love them any more! Love is love. And if there is life after this life, she knows, and if there isn't, then all she knew was that you were outside and then her pain was gone.
Hayley
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Re: Struggling to cope

Post by Hayley »

Thank you.
I was told they did it after i gave her back. My boyfriend had to drive away when we gave ber back because i was crying so much he had to get me away from it.
I think she knew i was there and speaking to her and i hope she knows i just didnt want to leave her in pain. I know it would have been selfish of me to not take the bets advice and do it. It would have prolonged her suffering and the vet said she would have passed anyway x
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