My Gorgeous is gone

Help & Support for those who have lost a beloved cat
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papa cat
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My Gorgeous is gone

Post by papa cat »

My dear cat Lizzie has died, (her nickname was 'My Gorgeous’)

She had been acting in an unusual way for a couple of weeks, hiding away not looking for fuss also not eating or drinking much, but I had put that down to the fact that she had caught fleas, (which she was treated for)
Fleas always gave her an allergic scabby reaction and she had behaved like that before. The fleas seemed to be all gone and the scabs were going but she was still hiding under my computer desk all day long.

Today when I was on my computer I heard that she was breathing in short gasps and then she let out an awful wailing meow. I picked her up and she could hardly breathe and was like a limp doll so I contacted my vet and described the symptoms, and they said bring her in straight away,

The vet looked at her and said she's lost a lot of weight, and showed me where it was noticeable, (I hadn't seen it previously!)
Her heart was beating very slowly and her lips and tongue were pale, her ears were cold and she was as limp as a wet rag.

The vet said her body is shutting down, she is almost gone!
She's almost certainly got cancer and she has been hiding the pain she has been in. The kindest thing is to let her go.
I asked if there was anything else that could be done and the vet started examining her again, and Lizzie had a seizure ...........and she was gone......just like that!
She was only 10, that's about 60 in human years.

I wish I could find out what was really wrong with her, but a post mortem is expensive.....and it won't bring her back.
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Mollycat
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by Mollycat »

Papa cat I'm so sorry to read your tragic news this morning, must be such an awful shock for you. I know it's no comfort as Lizzie was in her prime but you know they don't have a sense of length of life the way we do. Sounds like she didn't really have time to suffer and I hope this can help take the roughest edge off your pain in time, just a couple of weeks of feeling a but under the weather before it got too much for her.

I wish for you that you can find peace without answers, as you say a post mortem is expensive and can't bring her back but sometimes it can raise more questions than it can answer for us and leave us stuck with even more what-ifs and if-onlys than the inevitable ones we have anyway.

Thoughts are with you and the rest of Lizzie's family.
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fjm
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by fjm »

I am so sorry - such a shock to lose her so suddenly. They can be so good at hiding the signs of illness, and she spared you the weeks of anxiety and the grief of making the decision to let her go. I agree that there is little point in a post mortem - not knowing is hard, but if even had you known about the cancer earlier it is unlikely that anything could have been done to slow the progression. I hope in time the good memories bring comfort.
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by booktigger »

I'm so sorry to hear this, it's so much harder when it is sudden and unexpected and they aren't that old. RIP little one
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Mayday21
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by Mayday21 »

Hi Papa cat so sorry to read your post on the passing of Lizzie. My sympathies. Pls post if you need to as I know from my own loss 5 yrs ago you’ll receive empathy & understanding. RIP Lizzie alias “My Gorgeous”.
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papa cat
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

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Thank you all for your kind words.
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papa cat
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by papa cat »

I'm considering getting another cat to replace her as soon as possible. It has to look very similar as under the terms of the lease where I live I am not supposed to replace a pet that dies.
If I get a lookalike I can say it's the same cat :wink:
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Mollycat
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by Mollycat »

Do what you feel is right for you and your family, but be aware it can go badly wrong, especially if you still have other surviving pets. We all need time to grieve and we all grieve in our own way. There are many many stories of other pets taking a 'replacement' very very badly. You know yourself and your animals best of course.
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by issiandarchie+68 »

So sorry to hear of your loss, Papa Cat. Your description of Lizzie's passing reminded me of losing my wee black cat, Armand in 2016. He came to us in ill health and always had a cough and a bit of a wheeze. One weekend, his symptoms were more noticeable but he ate a hearty breakfast and batted his ball about so we didn't worry on taking him to the Vet at lunch time. He was examined, given an antibiotic, oxygen, the vet said his chest was congested and an xray was called for. My sweet wee boy, like Lizzie, wailed so heartbreakingly .. and died. The vet went ahead with the xray and discovered Armand was slowly drowning from fluid in his lungs, showed us a large mass of cancer in his tiny chest. I only tell you this because, up until that day, we too didn't notice any weight loss etc, just sleeping a little more and coughing up clear fluid. It's a helluva shock but don't beat yourself up, there was nothing you could have done any differently. A post mortem will only prolong your pain. I agree with Mollycat though about giving careful consideration to introducing another cat so quickly. Take care of yourself.

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papa cat
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by papa cat »

UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT

When I brought Lizzie’s body home from the vets I left it in the cat carrier, with the top off, near where Billy usually sits and he paid no attention to it.
At the time I thought she probably smells of the vets so he didn't recognise her.

He usually stays in the lounge on one of his preferred places and that hasn't changed, but when I go into that room he gets up and comes to me and wants a lot of fuss, a bit more than previously.
I cannot decide if he is pleased she is gone and has 'come out of his shell' or if he is seeking comfort because she is no longer here.

Lizzie was always 'Top Cat', there were times they would sit close, and be quite happy like that, but recently they had lived separately in the same small flat, I guess each saw it as 'shared territory'


So, I will hold off getting a replacement for Lizzie until I can get a better understanding of how he is feeling. He might want another companion, but equally he may become upset if I bring another cat in that overshadows him again.
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by fjm »

I think that is very wise. Unless you have very unfeeling neighbours no one is going to shop you if a new cat appears in a few months time if you do decide a second cat in the home is a good idea, and meanwhile you and Billy can have some time together finding out about life in these new circumstances.
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Mollycat
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by Mollycat »

Cat relationships are incredibly complex and losing one can bring about complete personality changes, often in very peculiar and unexpected ways. Cats who hated each other in life can go into inconsolable mourning, or become completely obsessed with only using the departed one's favourite places and possessions. I'm so pleased you have decided to have some time just for him, and to let Billy guide you. I believe time is so important, and if one day the time is right, you will know.

My old cat from a previous relationship, Purdy, now aged 23 and still living with my ex - we had some idea that my precious Henry was a bit overbearing, but since he's been gone she has absolutely blossomed. He was the angel cat who rescued my broken heart, so you can imagine how torn I feel, to say that anything good could possibly have come from losing him suddenly at 14 years young. But there it is, Purdy is free from him and we had no idea she could benefit from being without him.
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Mayday21
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by Mayday21 »

Hi think fjm & Mollycat’s advice is sound. It’ll give yiun& Billy time to grieve & console ea other without distractions. Fusses to Billy & take care.
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Re: My Gorgeous is gone

Post by Bertie 2017 »

Hi so sorry for your loss ,sometimes ,we never fully understand ,the reason why things happen ,but naturally ,we always need answers ,sadly we may never ever know ,why ,
All I know and understand ,it that losing a cat ,is heartbreaking ,especially if that cat ,
Wasn’t very old , whatever was wrong with your beloved friend ,it sounded serious, and
I am sure ,the vet did everything ,he or she could too save her ,sadly vets cannot work ,
Miracles , how ever much they try , but , you should know ,that missing your furry friend
Is normal ,and perfectly understandable, everyone ,on this website ,is very kind and ,
Understanding, and will support you ,because we and I speak for myself ,understands
The ,love and special bond ,we share ,with our cats , they make us complete ,

Lots of hugs x
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