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Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 6:13 pm
by Lec1984
Hi there,

I'm new to this and would really appreciate some honest advice (even if it's harsh).

I'm almost 30, just moved into a lovely new rented house, complete with a nice garden space (fenced) and cat flap. We're on a quiet road, I'm a nice area where there are no feral cats.

To give my feline history, I've grown up with cats - my parents have had 4, 3 of which have been rescue kitties. Of the rescues, One had cancer, one diabetes and the current guy is an amputee. I spent rather a lot of time with the diabetic chap as I was writing a dissertation at the time and learnt to inject him etc, but cared for all of them while growing up.

Now that my boyfriend and I have an appropriate home to accommodate a furry friend, I begun to look into rescue cats in my area. I found a particularly lovely chap - a big boy, who could do with losing a little weight (which, the rescue centre implied, would only be lost once he was out of the rescue scenario with lots of food on offer). He's has a tough life, and is clearly looking for lots of love and cuddles. Having liaised with the centre last week, I outlined that we both work, but that we'd likely be in for 2, but more likely 3 days a week as I have flexible working. We set up a meet.

Today I hear from the current carer (the same person) that my age, and presumed fertility (I say this as I firstly have no idea whether I can have children, and we haven't deduced, if I can, when we would - we're co-habiting for the first time, so it's likely to be a long while off yet) mean we're an inappropriate home for a rescue cat (as children can traumatise cats). I understand that him being home alone might have been an issue, and that's a reasonable point - I wouldn't want to upset him. But those aren't the terms that the conversation ended on.

Whether or not I'm right to feel aggrieved, I'd like some feedback on whether we could be an appropriate home for a moggy. We both have a lot of love to give, and I have significant experience. Are we really going to be met with this judgement if we pursue other options via a more traditional charity (battersea/cats protection)? I'm not going to be put off by this one incident, because I think animal rehoming is extremely important, but I'd be interested to hear thoughts.

Thank you,


Re: Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 6:29 pm
by Jacks
How bizarre! An employer cannot discriminate on the basis that a woman is of childbearing age and COULD have a child, why would a cat rescue?? Especially given your experience with cats it seems very strange that you were given this response. If a cat turned up on your doorstep (it's happened to me) you'd hardly tell him or her, 'Sorry, I'm a fertile but childless woman'...

Yes I know some cats get very jealous when a baby comes along, but an awful lot don't - a friend of my daughters is a long-term cat owner and recently had a baby and before the baby was even born her boy had adopted 'bump' as part of the family and loves the new arrival.

I've heard of people being told they are 'too old' to have a cat (i.e. the cat might outlive them) but as with this situation, which one of us knows the future? Is that any reason not to give a cat a home? I don't think so.

What area do you live in, LEC, if you don't mind me asking?

Re: Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 7:18 pm
by Lec1984
Hi Jacks,

Thanks so much for your reassuring response. I felt similarly that it wasn't far off discriminating on the basis of being elderly. As you say, who knows what's round the corner. We'd never to anything if we spent our time thinking about that. Babies,'s not worth dwelling on in the present.

My parents first cat was a little disgruntled when I was first born, but we got in marvellously once he realised I wasn't going to pull his tail. He, the only wild one, scratched us to bits and we still loved him into an old age. Upsetting to have this response when the sentiment is positive.

Hopefully we'll have luck elsewhere. We're in South London; I won't give specifics as the centre would identify the person, and I know their response comes from a place of love and care for their animals. Would you recommend any southern cat rescue centres?

Thanks ever so much,


Re: Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 7:45 pm
by Jacks
I'm sure you will get some better responses than this!!

Actually there is a little female cat desperately looking for a home in South London - the thread I've been writing on in 'Homes Needed': Urgent - London/Kent. The owners are moving abroad in a couple of days and have been let down by an adopter. Might be worth a look... they say she's shy but affectionate - so would probably benefit from an experienced cat mum...

Sorry about your boy though - especially if you'd met him.

Re: Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:18 pm
by Simons Cats
I have heard of some stupid reasoning before, especially from rescues bursting at the seams. A friend of south London.... was turned down for cat due to them living near a busy road, not even the offer of an indoor home was made and no home check was made, even tho they pleaded that they had an enclosed garden . However they went to another rescue who bit their hand off to rescue a cat and they now have one that is much loved for the last couple of years and enjoys their enclosed garden.

I was turned down because I worked all day and didn't want a cat flap. However I have two cats that have never had a cat flap. don't know what it is to miss it and also sleep most of the time we're out.

I wrote to the rescue that turned me down and I would even if t gets you nowhere. With so many cats needing homes, good home shouldn't be turned down for silly reasons

Re: Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:48 pm
by Hazel
Oh that's a shame when you had already found a cat to adopt. Try somewhere else, I'm amazed you got this response once, surely you won't get it again.

About 8 years ago my boyfriend (now husband) adopted two cats from the Blue Cross. We were both in our early 30s and the subject of children was never mentioned by any of the rescue centres we looked at.

Good luck!

Re: Judged for being fertile? Would love to rescue...

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:30 pm
by bobbys girl
What an amazingly silly reason! We have been very lucky our cats found us. But many years ago my husband was turned down by the local dogs home because he was on a main road. Not that he would ever dream of letting the dog anywhere near it. It turned out for the best, by word of mouth he ended up with his lovely, clever lurcher Katie. When we moved here and got our first kitties she was very protective of them.

I really believe that when we get knocked back in this way (especially for such a daft reason) it usually means that 'The Man Upstairs' has something better planned for us. There is a kitty (or 2) out there waiting. Perhaps Jacks has the answer?

Good luck and don't give up.