Help needed for my adopted cat. Scared of lodger.

[MissGenki]

Hi everyone,

I have never owned a cat before. Few months ago I came home and found a cat sleep on the front step of my house. She didn't go anywhere so I fed her. She kept hanging around and as months went by I build her a shelter with blankets. She would come in to eat. She is very friendly and loves cuddles. Anyway found that she was owned previously but left due to owners bringing in a new cat. She is very territorial and chases cats off the street (yes she has claimed the street).

Anyway although I never wanted to own a cat I adore her and her soft fluffiness. I have slowly adopted her. I did get her checked for a microchip but she had none. As no one claimed her and found she had no home (from neighbours) I got her chipped, vaccinated and flue/tick/worming treatment. I love her and she had started to stay in the house more and even sleep on the bed with me with initially purring as she felt the duvet.

So things were going well then I got a lodger due to money difficulties. I never thought she would react so badly. She is actually terrified and does the dry she does when I take her to the vet. I let her back out. Since then she is hesitant to come in and I have tricked her at night as I can't bare the thought of her sleeping outside. Tried the diffuser and the lodger (who is male not sure if that makes a difference) has given her treats. She just doesn't want to come in.

I saw some advice on just keeping the cat in. I did that yesterday but didn't have the heart to force her to stay in. So I let her out. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to let her go but don't know what else to do. It's also cold now and don't want her to be out in the cold. Everyone else's advice is just to get a kitten but I don't want a new cat, she is my cat and want her to feel safe around me and in the house. What can I do?

[Kay]

welcome to the world of cat worship, MG

it does look as if your lodger being male could be the problem, but one she should get over given time on her part, and patience on yours - and of course you shouldn't give up on her and get a kitten - she chose you and this is just a little setback

I would keep her away from the lodger as much as you can, but at the same time borrow some of his clothing to put around the places she goes to so she gets used to his scent - it might help if he puts her food out for her, when she sees him doing it, but he shouldn't try to interact directly with her, and especially not attempt to touch her

I have to ask though - there is no possibility he has been rough with her when you weren't around, is there?

[MissGenki]

No she is out when I'm out and the reaction was instant from the moment he moved in. She is not trusting initially anyway so would be no way to get near her. She does hide and is super quick when I try to take her to the vet.

I have noticed with neighbours whom she knows she doesn't go near the men but likes the women (they did feed her previously and treats). I wonder if she was treated badly by a male before as she does have a scar on her eye. Vet had checked it and I am thinking maybe mistreated.

That's great help. I will discuss this with the housemate/lodger. He does try but think too much after reading your response as he tried to say hi and she hid. I do love this fluffy girl so I really can't give up. So far we have been through lots together and all the neighbours were surprised when she trusted me to move in (she is mostly out all day and not in when I'm not as she gets scared but when she gets over this installing a microchip cat flap I've already bought). I am new to this neighbourhood and the neighbours do think she has been living on the street a while.

At least I don't worry about her when out as she would trust a stranger and a clever girl. I have put more blankets in the shelter I made her to keep warm when she feels like she can't come in. I really hope she moves in properly soon as I'm worried about the cold. So even if I bribe her or trick her with food to come in at night should I do that? I can't sleep thinking she is out in the cold.

[stitchnkitty]

I have been doing some fostering of Ferrel kitties.. You may wish to start training your kitty and chicken breasts steamed with no seasonings is great for that. Be patient. Go ahead and keep kitty in and find a safe haven for her, she will probably be ok with staying in - going outside is an escape. If your lodger is willing have him sit quietly and offer to play with a toy on the stick nothing too fast just slow and patient. He may be ok with putting her food down so she associates him with good things..

[MissGenki]

I didn't know if I should force her to stay in? She is more comfortable outside. Shall I let her gradually move in or just keep her in. My lodger is do noisey when he walks and don't think he does it on purpose or can change but the cat is always scared. I mean it's also a small terraced house so you can even hear neighbours walking up or down the stairs. I'm at a loss to what to do. Do I let her do this or just bring her in. It is so cold outside and no sign of her. All the stupid fireworks are probably scaring her. I just want her to come back so I know she is safe. I feel so guilty forcing her to stay in. I also usually work the whole day so don't want to leave her with the housemate. Do I leave her just in my room? She can easily make a run for it as soon as the front door is opened as the house is very open. I'm seriously stuck to what to do. I've not cared about an animal (or even a person) as much as I do for her. But I keep failing her by not helping her overcome this.

[stitchnkitty]

When a Ferrel cat is brought in - yes they are very scared even bounce off the walls... I will(even with kittens) contain them in a small space for them to get accustom to being in.And the first few days give them alot of space and just let them alone.They have food and water and potty pans they will be fine and alot safer than in the wild. If possible set up an area for her in your bedroom and keep her there. Play with her at least a couple of hours a day.. Feed her chicken treats as I have said. They need to feel safe. Be patient patient patient. The current cat I am working with is 6 months and she has taken to a drawer. I have finally gotten her to do the eye thing and she lets me pet her and I have actually clipped her front claws but she has not gotten out of the drawer and it has been 3 weeks.
Get her in and in a contained area.

[MissGenki]

But she is used to me and slightly to the house. She has always let me pick her up and be near. She has been in and out since April. I let her out this morning. So although she has slowly moved in just take her in? I would feel bad to keep her in my room when she is used to all of the outside. Are they generally ok after ? Will she forgive me ? Do I allow her to go outside eventually? How do I know when she is ready? It is cold now so maybe keep her in winter time? When in my room she sits by the door to be let out at night and runs down and back up again. Shall I do that at night as doors are closed and my housemate/lodger is in his room then?

Sorry about all the questions I just need to be sure about what I'm doing. Also shall I put a blanket under the bed as she hides there when scared, so she is warm. I have a sensory toy which she hasn't bothered with and a ball as well as scratch post. Shall I leave then in my room? Would she need more toys ? She won't see her car friends do will she be sad?

[MissGenki]

Sorry supposed to say cat friends.

[Crewella]

I had problems a couple of years back when one of my resident cats didn't like a new cat and started spending more and more time outside. I started locking them all in at night, so they were free do do as they liked all day, but forced to find a way to get along when I was around to keep an eye on things. I've stuck to that ever since - it also helps keep them off the road at night and curbs their hunting.

If you can get your lodger to cooperate, it would help if, as Kay suggests, you can get him to put her food down sometimes or just sit quietly so she does get a chance to become accustomed to him.

[stitchnkitty]

But she is used to me and slightly to the house. She has always let me pick her up and be near. She has been in and out since April. I let her out this morning. So although she has slowly moved in just take her in? I would feel bad to keep her in my room when she is used to all of the outside. Are they generally ok after ? Will she forgive me ? Do I allow her to go outside eventually? How do I know when she is ready? It is cold now so maybe keep her in winter time? When in my room she sits by the door to be let out at night and runs down and back up again. Shall I do that at night as doors are closed and my housemate/lodger is in his room then?

Sorry about all the questions I just need to be sure about what I'm doing. Also shall I put a blanket under the bed as she hides there when scared, so she is warm. I have a sensory toy which she hasn't bothered with and a ball as well as scratch post. Shall I leave then in my room? Would she need more toys ? She won't see her car friends do will she be sad?

The first thing you need to do is Quiet down. dont stress about this otherwise your kitty will pick up on this and it will make matters worse....
The life expectancy for an outdoor kitty According to Animal Planet is Approximately 3-5 years... A cat can be killed by a car... a fight with a racoon ; fox or it can be picked up by an eagle or hawk for food.. My philosophy is GET YOUR CAT INSIDE and keep she there - there is disease out there that she can pick up.
Make a bed for her in your room where she wants to be. Get lots of toys - things on a stick so you can wave them around and she can chase is good. One toy she may not like and another she may...
Keep her contained for awhile - spend time with her... Catify your house - this is something that Jackson Galaxy is always talking about... He even has a book on this.

She is not a person.. Her thoughts are different than ours so dont peoplize this. Most outside kitties do not have kitty friends. If they are inside then companionship does develop and the loss of a kitty friend can be very disturbing. She need to be protected and KEPT in.

Read to her.. the sound of your voice can be soothing..

I have adopted alot of ferrels and so far ALL mine has no interest in going out again once they feel safe and are comfortable. Mine will run from the doors.

[Crewella]

I think there is a cultural difference here, stitchnkitty - this is a UK based forum, and you'll find that the vast majority of us in the UK let our cats outside. Different country, different wildlife, different diseases, different problems. It's really not necessary to keep cats indoors in the UK - I've even had a blind cat that was allowed outdoors.

Having said that, cat people are always welcome here, wherever they are from, so please don't feel that I'm not valuing your contribution. I have had several ex strays and ex ferals myself, and it's always good to share experiences.

[stitchnkitty]

OOOKKKK...Umhh -.Yes I remember seeing a review on the TV about the UK kitty(at least I am sure it was) how would go out and navigate a few miles - get on a train and go to the zoo for the day then get on the train back home..

I am so sorry.. I hope anything I have said will help.. I will graciously bow out of the conversation.

[MissGenki]

So what do I do? Keep her in? How long until I can let her out if I keep her in?

[Crewella]

Stitchnkitty - that WAS a cat in the UK, Scarborough to be exact!

And please don't go - apart from that one difference between us, your experience is invaluable - I'm quite sure American cats behave much the same as British ones! I have several cat friends in the US, and I know it's much more common (and with good reason) to keep cats indoors all the time over there.

Sorry to have butted into your thread, MissGenki! You may, of course, decide you want to keep your cat indoors all the time forever, but unless you're planning that in the long term I think there's little point in doing it just for a few days.

[MissGenki]

Thanks for the posts. I've decided to just leave her. She obviously wants to stay on the street so I am done. I've been doing this since April and sick of it now. Vet has kept telling me oh she will come in when winter but it is winter and she is choosing outside so that's where she belongs. I can't force her.

[Crewella]

I think that's probably the right decision. As long as she knows where food and warmth are to be found if she wants them, she'll come round in her own good time. She's much better off with you looking out for her than she was, and I'm sure she knows that and appreciates it. She's been living this way for some time, so it might take her a while to come round, but with love and patience I'm sure she will. I wouldn't want to force her either. Good luck.

[MissGenki]

Thank you. But I meant I won't be bringing her in at all. I just don't think it's something she wants. She is just not the right pet for me as I can't spend my evenings trying to get her to trust me etc. She will be fine outside a I've left her a shelter with blankets. Will just leave her water and a bit of food. Other than that I don't think I can do anymore.

[Crewella]

I think you're over-thinking this and that's why it's getting stressful - you actually don't need to make a decision either way. As you say, you have given her a shelter, food and water and she's welcome if she wants to come in. At the moment, it's not so much that she's choosing to stay outside as that she's scared to come in because of your lodger - as a stray cat of some time she may well have good reason to be scared of some people.

She has very obviously chosen you as someone she can trust ..... I'm sure this is a hiccup in your relationship. It's so rewarding when a street cat puts their faith in you, it's worth the occasional stress. There is lots of advice out there on ways to get strays and ferals to trust you, and it is good advice, but in my experience if you offer food, love and understanding you'll get there however you approach it. You seem to have been doing pretty well up to now.