New cat owner stress - please help!

[Nualal]

I just adopted a cat from my local shelter yesterday. He is 4 years old & seemed relaxed & easygoing at the shelter. I've never owned a cat before so I was excited but nervous. Since I brought him home yesterday, he has been hiding behind my sofa. Thankfully he has been using the litter tray & eating the food I leave out. But my stress levels are still through the roof. I know it's going to take time for him to get comfortable in this new house & that I need to be patient. Plus I am so grateful that he is eating & eliminating! But my own heart won't stop racing & I can't seem to calm myself down. How can I reduce my own stress levels? I'm also worried he will pick up on my stress & become stressed himself. Would it be better if I left the house altogether for a few hours & give him space? Or should I stay in the house & keep waiting for him to come to me? Please, any advice and reassurance would be gratefully appreciated!

[Lilith]

Hi there - your cat is behaving perfectly normally. Many cats introduced to a new home don't eat or use their tray for days (so he's doing well if he's eating and using the tray straight away) and they're all different but many of them need a hiding place, just as a way to feel secure and get used to a new house. When I moved to my present house, one of my cats, who'd been with me from a kitten, went behind the sofa for days.

Please try not to worry - he is making a normal start in his new home and will come out when he's ready. You're doing all the right things - at this stage it's a case of 'love them and leave them alone'. He'll soon find his self-confidence and start getting cheeky and affectionate. If you're in the room you could try talking to him in a low voice, saying his name, telling him that everything's all right and he's a good boy - that sort of thing. Otherwise do whatever you feel like doing, whether it's chilling with a glass of wine or going out for a bit.

He'll emerge when he's ready - all the very very best and good on yer for adopting him

[bobbys girl]

I'd like to second what Lilith has said. Talk to him, you might feel a little odd - like you are talking to yourself (story of my life ). But he will get use to your voice and it will make you feel more relaxed - like you are doing something.

Good luck and thank you for giving a new start to this little one. let us know how you go on.

[Crewella]

And I'll .... erm .... 'third' it! This is a very normal reaction for a cat in a new environment, he will come out when he feels a bit more comfortable, he just feels a bit overwhelmed at the moment. As you say, it's good that he's eating and using the tray, many don't do that either for the first couple of days!

As has been said, just get on with the things you need to do, and talking to him is a good idea. If you can't find things to say you could try reading aloud - something soothing to calm you both down! If you decide in your head that he won't come out for a day or two, which is very likely, then you won't be so expectant and stressed. Just be patient, it will be worth the wait.

Congrats on your new cat, and good on you for adopting.

[Mrs Kane]

I know what you mean about the stress. When we first got Sofi I felt like I was going to explode through the roof and I was sure the cat was aware of it. The sleepless nights of "where is she, is she on the bed? What if she hates me? What if she claws me and wakes me?" were prominent.

Thankfully either our cat is not the brightest spark or she didn't pay any attention because she was alright pretty much from day one (even though I accidentally locked her in our bedroom on the first night, she was cool, just purred and woke me up nicely and then scratched at the door to be let out. Perhaps she IS a smart cat after all!)

I'd just go about your regular routine. If you're in the house a lot, then go about your normal busness. If you're in one place (IE, computer desk, kitchen, living room, blah) a lot then just go there and do things that you'd normally do to calm you down. (Candy Crush tbh, I will beat you, level 134!)
Cats are pretty intelligent, and even if you don't realise it your cat has probably twigged where you most hang out. The more normal you make yourself, the more normal your cat will see its environment. Pretty soon you'll calm down and see the cat like a regular thing. I don't think I was calm for a few weeks after we go Sofi, but that's okay, the cat's not the only one that needs to adjust.

Happy homewelcoming!

[Nualal]

Thank you so much everyone! Your replies all helped me A LOT yesterday! I am a great deal calmer today, and my lovely cat also seems to be gaining his confidence. He even spent a bit of time out from behind the sofa last night and let me stroke him a little. He's back behind the sofa again today, but I'm much less worried and know to just leave him in peace and wait for him to get curious again.

[Lilith]

Oh good - glad we could help

It is, it's just a matter of time; after I posted I got thinking about how it is when you take on a new animal and...panic lol! Like having a new baby! I used to breed Siamese, and those kittens would be planned, expected, you'd think the stud visit and nine weeks' wait would be enough preparation, but after a safe arrival, with mother and kitties curled safely together, I'd have a sleepless night - what HAD I done?

My most recent cats strolled in off the streets and moved in gradually so I'd time to get used to them, but if I took on another I'd be in the same state of panic initially - I think we're all worryguts when it comes to our animals lol.

Glad he's already coming out of his shell or rather his sofa; do keep in touch