A dilemma with my problem cat

[pussycats]

I rescued a beautiful white cat called Tinkerbell 2 years ago who was going to be put to sleep because of behaviour issues and was convinced I would be able to 'cure' her by giving her lots of love and patience. I was wrong as the damage is too deep seated and I don't know what to do, she has always attacked ankles and scratched mine badly on numerous occasions completely unprovoked but she did it to my 3 year old granddaughter Maisie recently and scratched her little legs badly now she is terrified of Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell also bullies my other already very nervous rescued cat who is also terrified of her plus Tinkerbell has suddenly got into the habit of urinating beside my other two cats food dish. She would be hard to re-home I know and I would never consider euathanasia on a healthy animal, so what do I do? I do love her and when she's asleep beside me on my bed I feel quite sorry for the obvious way she has been treated in the past

[Lilith]

Hi there, as one fellow-sufferer to another - errm, I think I may have Tinkerbell's older sister lol!

Mine's a ginger called Molly and her owners were at their wits' end with her aggression. They too had children including a baby. Now I don't know if the older kids had roughnecked with Moll; children can be thoughtless, but she's a little horror. As a small kitten, joining that household, she was responsible for the older cats moving out within a week.

When she came to me as an adolescent, I had three older cats - just that bit too old to play with her and give her a walloping if she got rough. Nothing better for teaching a cat to inhibit its clawing and biting than play-fighting with another cat. She and the boy got on best (sadly he's now passed on) and Emily, the eldest girl, will sock her one if Moll tries to bully her, but Mouse, the middle girl, is still nervous of her.

Luckily my back garden's secure; I soon realised that Molly roaming was not an option; small children lived nearby and if she encountered a child, or another cat, or dog, it was obvious she might do a lot of damage. She doesn't back down. For instance, if I put out a hand and tell her 'no' for clawing the duvet, say, her eyes narrow, and she gets a paw up and she'll sock ME. Like your Tinkerbell she goes for feet and legs; often if I was on the phone she would go into a corner and wee, I'm certain for attention, and like your Tinkerbell she sleeps on the bed with me; she follows me everywhere.

Recently she's shown signs of improvement; she's learning to sheath her claws if I absentmindedly waggle my fingers or 'stroke the wrong ear' as I call it. For a long while I couldn't stroke her at all.

This is after 4 years, five next February...

They're all different and I'm not claiming that what's worked for me will work for you, but during this time I've refused to play rough with her or even take any notice of her when she was aggressive; and making a mess or bullying the older ones earned her a telling-off. I don't shout, but I'll hiss or whisper fiercely at her - and she knows! Lots of praise for being a good girl - but I'm sure you're doing all this already.

There have been times in the last few years when I've been at screaming point with her! I realise how much patience you will have had to exercise with Tinkerbell.

There aren't any easy answers with a cat like this and perhaps I've just been lucky with Molly, or time has done it for us. She's still a pain, but she is so lovable - like you, when she's curled up on the bed with me, smiling and purring, I can forgive her anything. (Even making a mess in the bath - which she still does!) I DID try Feliway but she was immune - but other people have had good results with it.

So...I'm afraid I can't really suggest any advice but I know what you're going through and wish you well, I really do. Hopefully time will work its magic with Tinkerbell, but in the meantime, I sympathise, and all the very best (and sorry for the essay lol.)

[pussycats]

Hi Lilith,

Thank you so much for your reply, they do sound like sisters don't they, yes Tinkerbell follows me everywhere too and everything else she does I thought too must be for attention. I thought that when she went for my granddaughter that it must be about jealousy. She doesn't go for my ankles as much as she did I'm glad to say but I still worry when my granddaughter is about. I had a real problem concerning what she would eat too and I think that had a lot to do with it. She won't touch wet food and will only eat a certain type of dried, I have to feed her and my nervous one separately although the other two eat together (they're the ones she wees beside their food!) Her last owner who was going to put her to sleep used to hit her and she still flinches when I reach my hand out to stroke her head. I think her problems arise from nerves and fear of humans but there is a slight improvement to when I first rescued her

Thanks again for your reply and good luck with Molly xx

[Sue Goddard]

Have you tried anything like Zyklene which if given every day might get her to chill out ..she might (say..might..) realise that chilling is better than fighting?
Maybe worth a try to see how she reacts..it'd give you a break too..!!

Hope all goes well.
S
Thomas & Mouse.

[pussycats]

Hi Sue,

I could give it a try I've tried Feliway with no success, so I'll give this a go

Thank you for your reply and advice xx