Should I rehome?

Queries and discussions about cat rescue & rehoming
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Should I rehome?

Post by Cadenza » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:12 am

I have a black and white moggie, Freddie, that I rescued six years ago from RSPCA(he was a stray). I love him to bits, but our household lifestyle has changed over the past year and I am wondering if it is cruel to keep him. We are spending up to two months away from home at a time, with further short breaks away. My son looked after him then as he lives at home, so it worked, but he has recently started working irregular hours, mainly out of the house from midday until 2am, so my cat is on his own, a lot, and his mealtimes were very irregular. He is a very greedy cat due to him being a stray and he always asks for food. Last time we came back after a trip he was much more vocal and his fur was quite matted (he doesn't like washing himself at the best of times). My son admits that he can't give Freddie the care he wants and that he wasn't happy. We have invested in an automatic feeder so this isn't so much of a problem now. We have been away recently and now he is very vocal and follows me around everywhere. I don't mind this so much and I ignore him if he shouts and give him an occasional treat when he's quiet, but he is starting to swipe out at us when giving him affection. We are away again at the end of April and I am wondering if it is fair to Freddie to leave him alone so much or whether I should try and rehome him. I don't want to give him away, but I want him to be happy. I also worry about the stress of rehoming. It took him a while to settle with us. What do you think?

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Re: Should I rehome?

Post by Lilith » Wed Jan 23, 2019 4:41 pm

Hi and welcome, and sorry to hear of your dilemma.

Only you know Freddie, and your circumstances, so any advice is going to be rather subjective, but this is my personal view:

I don't think an older cat in a long term home is going to be that fazed about being left that long while your son's at work; he'll have his routine, he'll snooze, you've organised his food. If your son could find the time to brush him, if only a couple of times a week unless he's very longhaired and matted, it could solve the coat problem.

He does, however, sound a little bit stressed and demanding - but they're all so different. I have one who natters at me all the time and I'm at home all the time lol. I talk back to her: 'I know you're there' 'Yes .. yes ... what is it then ...' etc etc :oops: Well I talk to myself all the time :oops: :oops: so I might as well talk to her too. I know it sounds embarrassing, but the verbal communication does seem to soothe her. She too whacks out at me if my stroking irritates her but she's been like that since kittenhood. It does sound to me as if Freddie wants your attention - but on his own terms.

You may have heard of a child psychologist called Winnicott, who propounded the theory that good parenting wasn't necessarily being the perfect parent, but in giving 'enough'. That was what stood a child in good stead. Freddie has a comfortable home and security - and cats are creatures of habit; his home and routine is his world, so I don't think you need feel worried about everything being textbook perfect.

This IS only my personal view of course.

If you do decide to go ahead and rehome, I'm afraid the rescues are perennially full, but often they may operate a scheme whereby they'll keep a cat on their books and match it to a suitable home - there's a link below - ... uk-ireland

Good luck and I wish you and Freddie well.

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Re: Should I rehome?

Post by Miabrevera » Fri Mar 15, 2019 1:40 pm

I have very similar situation
And your tips are very helpful in my case too!
Thanks ;)

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