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Adopted cat advice please

Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:42 am
by peaclily 70
Hello there,
I have just adopted a cat from a rescue shelter and although she was adopted for me, to keep me company during the day(as my husband works long hours) she seems to have become more attached to my husband i.e. sleeping by him on the couch, head bunting him more etc, having said that though she seems to choose me when she wants to play. I have heard that cats show their love to different people in different ways, is this the case with my cat?

I have had cats before, the last one was a male cat and he bonded with me more. I was devastated when he passed away after 18 happy years.

I should mention that my new cat has only been with us a few days by the way. Am I over analysing things?

Please help

Re: Adopted cat advice please

Posted: Tue Aug 13, 2019 10:52 am
by fjm
I think, as she has been with you such a short time, she may be displaying learned behaviour. Perhaps the person she knew and trusted best in the past was a man, and so she is drawn to your husband. Give her time - once she knows you, and knows you are the main source of food and play and comfort through the day I am sure she will share her favours more equally. But she may always have a special greeting for your husband when he comes home - I would delight in it, rather than let it make you anxious.

Re: Adopted cat advice please

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 9:22 am
by Polly
Give your new cat time to get used to new people,surrounding,in their life,once your cats confidence builds up,her trust builds up,you will all have a wonderful relationship together.

Re: Adopted cat advice please

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2019 11:55 pm
by lilynmitz
It really is very early days. She has a lot to learn about her new home and her place in the household. Show her kindness, let her learn to trust you, she will come round. If she just sees you as her playmate, she may not realise you can also be quiet and kind. Remember, she’s not there to entertain you, she’s with you because she needs a good home where you will look after her physical and emotional needs. Then it can become a two way relationship.

I do wonder though whether she is picking up on your grief for your old boy. I know when I’ve brought new cats into my home after my last cat(s) died, it has sort of reinforced that the last puss really has gone, and it brought all my sadness back, and I admit there was a small part of me resented the new “intruders”, simply because they weren’t who I had just lost. I had to make myself put that to one side for a while, and learn to love the new cats for who they are, for their own little quirks and personalities? It’s important to understand that they are finding this all new and confusing too. But I do remember the day I brought Lily and Mitz home, after nearly two years in a grim rescue centre, I was sitting weeping over my previous cat (for reasons as above) and bless them, even though they were confused and frightened, the both came over and snuggled up to me until I stopped crying. That was the beginning of many years of looking after each other.

Don’t underestimate your new puss. Give things a chance, show her what you can offer in the way of patience, love and affection, she’ll come round eventually.

Re: Adopted cat advice please

Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 10:09 am
by alanc
When I adopted a pair of cats from the local rescue center (quite a few years ago now) it took one of them about 3 days to settle in and the other about 3 months. After those 3 months, the old chap became very affectionate.