Hi, I adopted a rescue cat a little over a week ago. She's had an awful little life so far, so is very nervous and will hiss if she gets frightened.
So far she's doing really well, she's eating and drinking, we've got the litter tray sorted and I've been able to get a flea tablet into her - via a little bit of bribery in the form of a small piece of salmon!
I'm really after some advice as to things I can be doing to try and make things easier on her and to improve our interactions. She's completely fine with me sitting in the same room as her, and I've even gotten as far as a small stroke of her nose whilst she's sitting in the bed I got her. I'm just concerned about pushing too much too soon but also am of course keen for her to feel happy with me.
Any advice more than gratefully received!
Advice Wanted
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fjm
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Re: Advice Wanted
It sounds as if she is settling well for such a nervous cat. I would take things at her pace - let her come to you, and don't put any pressure on her. Scatter a few treats around where you are sitting and across the room, and then ignore her, not even looking at her. Read a book, or browse the internet, and just be around in an utterly safe and non threatening way. The safer she feels, and the more in control of interactions, the sooner she will relax and start to enjoy your company. Once she does you can start thinking of games and cuddles, but now she needs to learn that you are to be trusted.
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Mollycat
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Re: Advice Wanted
I took on a rescue cat knowing she was "shy" but I had no idea what I had coming. I didn't see her at all the first week she was under the bed and came out when I was asleep. For 6 months I thought she hated being touched but that's not true, she loves affection but deep traumas mean she struggles to trust hands. My partner moved in more than 2 years ago and sometimes she still runs from him, especially when he has his rustly bright work trousers. She still hides from visitors even now after nearly 7 years with me.
Observe carefully. See what makes her nervous, this will be completely individual. Make sure she has plenty of places to hide away and get up high to observe. Never block her access to her favourite hiding places. If the vacuum cleaner or visitors make her hide, give her time to hide between the first sign that a scary thing is about to happen and it actually happening. Talk to her - a lot - all the time! Likely the most important thing she will need to know, if she is nervous of people, is that you will walk away and leave her alone. Once Molly was able to stay where she was while I walked past I would give her just one stroke without looking at her and keep walking past, so she learned that I would not be 'in her face' when I wasn't wanted. If she comes to eat when you put her food down, just one stroke as she gets her head in the bowl, while she is focused on her food. Yes, sit still and let her come to you, give her time to sniff and wait until her body language changes from nervous to friendly before reaching out to her. Use her feet - horse training trick - when giving her a treat hold it just away from her so that she has to step forward towards you to take it, the small step makes a different connection in her brain and puts her in confident mode rather than pulling away mode. Catnip if she responds to it, a spray or the dried leaf, will help her relax and feel playful and happy near you. Give her choices so she can learn she is respected, for example only stroke her if she rubs her face on your hand after sniffing it but if she sniffs and pulls back then pull back and give her space but don't get up and leave, just stay nearby and talk softly. Move gently and give her the chance to walk away not run if she feels she needs to. If something makes her nervous, say bags of groceries - put them down and let her investigate. Cats are a lot like horses, they learn fast if they are given the space to investigate scary things and find them to be safe after all.
A very nervous cat is a great teacher, if we are humble enough to let them guide us and observant and patient. I would advise keeping a diary - I didn't because I had no idea that one day I would wish I could really remember what the early days were like and how far she has come.
Also just to add, be responsive to what she is ok with. It sounds crazy and I don't know what possessed me to try this but it worked, Molly lets me kiss her tummy and has done a for a couple of years now, but the slightest touch of my hand and she kicks it away hard, and yet if my face is too close when she is on her cat tree she can and will lash out, I have a scar in the corner of my eye to prove it. There is no progression that would be logical to us sometimes, so once you know your girl reasonably well, by all means take some risks. Just because she won't tolerate X doesn't mean she won't love Y even if it seems the wrong way around logically.
Observe carefully. See what makes her nervous, this will be completely individual. Make sure she has plenty of places to hide away and get up high to observe. Never block her access to her favourite hiding places. If the vacuum cleaner or visitors make her hide, give her time to hide between the first sign that a scary thing is about to happen and it actually happening. Talk to her - a lot - all the time! Likely the most important thing she will need to know, if she is nervous of people, is that you will walk away and leave her alone. Once Molly was able to stay where she was while I walked past I would give her just one stroke without looking at her and keep walking past, so she learned that I would not be 'in her face' when I wasn't wanted. If she comes to eat when you put her food down, just one stroke as she gets her head in the bowl, while she is focused on her food. Yes, sit still and let her come to you, give her time to sniff and wait until her body language changes from nervous to friendly before reaching out to her. Use her feet - horse training trick - when giving her a treat hold it just away from her so that she has to step forward towards you to take it, the small step makes a different connection in her brain and puts her in confident mode rather than pulling away mode. Catnip if she responds to it, a spray or the dried leaf, will help her relax and feel playful and happy near you. Give her choices so she can learn she is respected, for example only stroke her if she rubs her face on your hand after sniffing it but if she sniffs and pulls back then pull back and give her space but don't get up and leave, just stay nearby and talk softly. Move gently and give her the chance to walk away not run if she feels she needs to. If something makes her nervous, say bags of groceries - put them down and let her investigate. Cats are a lot like horses, they learn fast if they are given the space to investigate scary things and find them to be safe after all.
A very nervous cat is a great teacher, if we are humble enough to let them guide us and observant and patient. I would advise keeping a diary - I didn't because I had no idea that one day I would wish I could really remember what the early days were like and how far she has come.
Also just to add, be responsive to what she is ok with. It sounds crazy and I don't know what possessed me to try this but it worked, Molly lets me kiss her tummy and has done a for a couple of years now, but the slightest touch of my hand and she kicks it away hard, and yet if my face is too close when she is on her cat tree she can and will lash out, I have a scar in the corner of my eye to prove it. There is no progression that would be logical to us sometimes, so once you know your girl reasonably well, by all means take some risks. Just because she won't tolerate X doesn't mean she won't love Y even if it seems the wrong way around logically.