Feeling terrible - tormented my cat and not helped him :-(

[Anicca79]

Hi everyone,

So I posted a little while ago about my rescue cat and how I was worried about his claws. I am increasingly concerned about one claw in particular that's going into his pad so booked to see the vet today. The trouble is he hates being picked up and I've not even had him even a month yet so I've not figured out the best way to get him into the carrier. I've never owned a cat before and live alone. I had a plan. It failed. I'd already blocked the door to his usual route but who knew? He can get on top of the fridge! My friend came over to help me. She was brilliant with him and calmed him right down. We almost had him twice but his problem claws got caught in her top and she had to abandon it. Then before we knew it the vets were closing and he was on top of the fridge again. He stayed there for 4 hours. I feel so terrible because I failed and scared him. He is a rescue cat and doesn't have a great history so he has been slow to trust me and now he is scared and doesn't understand why I turned on him. I don't know what to do because we're going to have to get him there somehow. I don't think I can clip his claws myself although I have tried. I feel right now if I could pay someone to do a home visit or something I would do it and sod the cost! He is such a lovely gentle cat and he doesn't spit or lash out. My friend says her cat would have been hissing at the point we got him to. I know that when you adopt a cat from a rescue centre they talk to you about vaccinations but what about handling? How are you supposed to know what to do if your cat is big and pretty strong and won't be picked up? Upset beyond all proportion about this

[Lilith]

Hi Anicca - for a start you have NOT turned on him. You're both coming to terms with a new relationship and this is very difficult, especially as you haven't owned a cat before.

A person with more experience might go, right, you little (errm censored) into the carrier with you, scruff him and wallop into the box - but until you DO have that experience it's very hard to do! It must have been a nightmare, but you sound to have been as scared as he was.

Is it ok to ask you where you are? If you were in my area I'd come over and help you get him into the carrier, and go with you to the vet - and there may be someone on here in your area who would do the same.

Having said that, an ingrowing claw, while not desirable, isn't urgent. You might have to wait to get that seen to but honestly, you're NOT being a 'bad' owner or letting him down (I DO understand all this because I'm a right worrybucket myself, so what it must be like starting from errm scratch with a cat I dread to think!)

Meanwhile. Time to take a deep breath, let him do his own thing, put him some favourite food down and let him approach that in his own time, and as for you, get yourself a glass of wine or whatever comforts, chill - and please, try not to worry!

You have the rest of your lives together - this has been hell, but you will both get over it - honest!

I cringe at some of my own mistakes, don't we all, but if the love's there, we get there!

Really feel for you x

[bobbys girl]

I feel right now if I could pay someone to do a home visit or something I would do it and sod the cost!

You would still have to catch him!

I do so sympathise. Our Tommy is a big, strong cat. Normally he is a big wussy puss. But when it comes to getting him to the vets we have to borrow their large, top opening cage. We have to use a bath sheet and bundle him up in it. Even then my husband struggles to hold him. We have tried every other way. He still gets stressed, but it is over as quickly as possible and we still have all our fingers.

Be brave, use a towel and don't dither. That way you will stress him less Leave the towel in the carrier and he can hide in it.

Tom has forgiven us and doing well now he has been treated. If we had chickened out, I'm not sure he would be with us now.

[Anicca79]

Thanks very much both of you for replying. I have learnt a few lessons today. Containing him in the living room is best as fewer places to hide if he does run and we need to use my friend's carrier which is bigger. I'm booked in again for next Saturday so wish us luck!

Lilith that is so kind of you to offer to help! Ollie my tabby and white boy and I are in South Manchester near Sale. My other thought was that I could get in touch with the RSPCA on Monday where I got him from and see of one of their volunteers would come over and help. They're meant to have a duty of care for their adopted animals so they may... I have lived with cats before that belonged to other people but it's very different when you have to be the one to do the unpleasant stuff. I think I am overly scared of hurting him too. Hopefully experience will improve things. I actually think if my friend had been there at the start we'd have been ok but she was dealing with a cat on high alert when she arrived... I don't think he's in any pain at the moment and I will get it seen too. In the meantime he is finally off the fridge and we are having some cuddles

[Lilith]

Ah that's good that you are having cuddles

Could be a good idea to ask the RSPCA for backup help if they can provide it - I realise this organisation's variable but if you have a good branch near you that would be great. But hope the vet visit next week goes ok.

Till then - please try not to worry - and keep in touch. He is a lucky guy, having a caring person like you for his own

ps I think anyone would want to help - all the very best x

[Anicca79]

Thanks very much. Feeling a bit better and Ollie is next to me purring. Enough excitement for one day!

[Alice]

Anicca, when I've had cats which were difficult to get into their carriers I've put the carrier, open and ready into my small cloakroom, positioned on the toilet, without the cat seeing it. A cloakroom or bathroom doesn't have as many places to hide or climb onto, so the cat has no escape. Then I've picked the unsuspecting cat up for a cuddle, walked to the carrier and quickly put it in, usually backwards, so they don't see where they're going (I've a front opening carrier - top opening could be easier). Depending on your home perhaps you could plan something similar for your next attempt.

[Anicca79]

Thanks Alice. Appreciate all ideas! My immediate problem is that picking him up for a cuddle is the first hurdle. He immediately panics and wrestles to get away. He came from a house of 13 cats and they are all fearful so I can only think the person had no idea how to handle them or abused them. If he feels in any way constrained or if two hands come towards him he runs. He will however come and sit on me and nussle me and lick my hands so he's super affectionate so long as his feet are on the ground. I will find a way!

[Mollysmummy]

I sympathise, neither of mine are keen on the carrier! Luckily they both tolerate being picked up, but once they decide they want to get down that's it! Claws away! Our older cat also gets very anxious if we stroke or handle her with 2 hands; she was from a house with 11 cats so I don't think she was properly socialised. It's taken me 6 months to get her to the point of tolerating being picked up, she still doesn't cuddle though hopefully in time!

One trick I've learned is to put their favourite treats in the carrier, hover near it and when they're halfway in having a sniff, just give their bum a push and close the door! This only works if vet visits are rare though as they have great memories!

Another option, if you have the type of carrier where the whole top half comes off is to leave the bottom half out as a bed. If they like a small hidey hole you could even leave the whole thing out. Kitty will be more relaxed about being in it if they're used to it and it should be much less stressful for all!

[Kay]

you will be able to cut his claws yourself in time - I had to do Trigger's claws myself as they grew very curved and would easily ingrow - I found the secret was to get a good pair of scissor type clippers, and only do one or two at a time, while he was sleepy, and even then I only took the tips off - I stopped as soon as he reacted and came back again on another day (after writing down which ones I'd done!)

I never did the back ones as they didn't curve inwards

when your boy is relaxed with you, try pressing lightly on his front paws to get him to stretch out his claws as a regular thing, so when you do attempt to clip them he won't be anxious

[bobbys girl]

I can scoop up Purdy and Bob and carry them round like a baby. It's a different thing with the others. Willow will tolerate being lifted up onto the table for food (when her shoulder is playing up). Tom will happily sit on your knee and demand a cuddle, just don't try to pick him up! Grace is just a stroppy little git - affection on her terms only.

She is 7, but I think she is going through the terrible two's. All you can hear at the moment is me saying 'Grace get off there, come out of it, leave Purdy/Willow alone, stop eating Tommy's food' and her hiss of response.

As for claws, there is a post sticking out of the corner of 'Katie's Garden' (part of the frame). I was going to cut it back to ground level, but the cats claimed it as a scratching post. It looks like a totem pole - either that or we've got a beaver. Between that and the back door mat, I have never had to trim their claws (yet)

[Hazel]

I know exactly how you feel, we felt terrible over the stress we caused Jess with the first couple of vets visits we had.
He was a little feral kitten we'd been feeding for a couple of months and gradually luring further round the side of the house into the kitchen. On the day of his first vet visit (to spey/neuter, we didn't know which) we got him in the kitchen for his breakfast, slowly shut the door, tentatively stroked him, then I just picked him up and popped him into the nice big top loading carrier. He wasn't expecting it so it was easy. Then it all went horribly wrong....OH didn't get the carrier shut properly so out he popped and flew round the kitchen like a wild animal, knocking everything off the worktops flying, trying to climb the plaster walls, OH wearing oven gloves trying to grab him and scoop him off the wall into the box. It's fair to say we were all quite traumatised.
When he had to go back a few weeks later for more vaccinations we were both very nervous and Jess could tell. We somehow trapped him in the bathroom so there was nowhere to hide but again we didn't do a good enough job of clearing the room first so stuff got broken and poor Jess wet himself in terror.

So yes, I honestly do know how you feel. We nearly gave up on him and put him a back outside as a neutered feral, we couldn't put him through this every time. He was only young though and it was so cold (January) and when we found him he was eating bird food so we didn't reckon his hunting skills were up to much.

We've caught him a couple of times since then to go to the vets or the cattery and it honestly gets easier. We now trap him in the hall (absolutely nowhere to hide and nothing to break). When we start shutting doors he gets suspicious but so far he's always fled out of the room into the hall where he's stuck. A bit of running up and down the stairs later and we've got him. It's a two person job and we couldn't do it without a top loading carrier, I can't recommend them enough! (Although be very careful when you pick them up, we always hold them underneath as I don't trust the catches on the top and if he escaped he's far too timid for us to get him back).

Our other boy, who has been properly handled from being a kitten, is happy to be picked up and cuddled (well, maybe not happy to get soppy mummy cuddles but very tolerant!) is also a pain to put in a carrier and will hide. I think the difference is we are more confident with him, we know he won't scratch or bite us and it's more of a game to him. Even when we've got him he spreads his legs out so he won't fit in the door (he has to go in the smaller front loading carrier, we really must buy another top loader). Jess definitely picks up on our nerves and it makes it worse, so do try to keep calm, even though it's much easier said than done.

[bobbys girl]

(Although be very careful when you pick them up, we always hold them underneath as I don't trust the catches on the top

Oh always saves a couple of 6"" nails or screws to use in place of the catches. Works a treat - but I still hold it underneath and put a towel over the cage to give them a sense of security.

[Lilith]

Hi, hope that bad lad's been behaving himself today!

Yes, I agree re putting titbits in the carrier to lure a cat in and leaving the carrier about for him to get used to it. I had great success in this respect once - or rather I got more than I bargained for.

I once had a cat, three quarters Siamese, called George, who looked just like the Beast of Bodmin. Poor George had a year or so of ill-health: two fatty lumps in his belly which required operations and a biopsy, eczema...he was up and down to the vet and so the carrier was a familiar sight in the house...one evening, usual routine, hauled carrier out to my then husband's car...Gorgeous George was a big lad and by heck he hadn't lost any weight! The carrier weighed a ton! Off to the vet's, and George made his usual comments, accompanied by another voice...

Oh no? Oh yes! One of the other cats had got in too and come along for the ride. Much hilarity at the vet's!

Hope Ollie gets as blase as that eventually, poor chap sounds as if he's never had much socialising or love - but he'll make up for that now with you

[hgale]

You have my sympathy!

Although all my cats have been very good at going into the basket (even if they did struggle a bit), my girl Mischa who died last year LOATHED having a pedicure! I had to take her to the Vets to have it done, and it used to take 3 of us just to hold her down while the Vet did the honours with the clippers - plus some heavy duty gloves. And the noise she used to make - injections and examinations, no fuss but the clippers - you'd have thought WW3 had broken out and I was always amazed that there was anyone left in the waiting room when we came out!

Hope you can get your boy used to the box soon.