Help cat stop crying when we wake

[chicago212]

Our kitten is about a year old and because of his age/energy levels, we put him in his own room overnight. He's always fine going in there and we don't hear anything from him during the night (grateful for that!).

When we get up, as soon as he hears activity, he starts crying. He is *really* people-bonded and hates to be alone. If you go into another room, he'll follow, even if you're just going around the corner.

Because of our schedules, and because he likes to get into mischief unattended, we need to keep him in his room while we get ready, and then I bring my girlfriend to work. I work from home, and when I return from dropping her off, I let him out. As soon as he's out, he's almost completely silent. He does like to communicate throughout the day, which is no problem.

We do a pretty good job of ignoring/not rewarding his behavior in the morning, we don't yell or throw things at the door. The routine is almost the same every day: we are awake for about 20 minutes, we both leave for about 10 minutes, and when I get back, I let him out.

The room he's in has french doors, so we can see him and he us, but again, we try not to give him much attention when he's crying. He has food, water, toys - no health issues, nothing harming him. He just stands at the door, looking at us and crying.

We're not sure how "training" could work, either: how could we keep him in his room, but reward him when silent? Throw treats under the door? We put up a screen to block his view, but that seems to make things worse (he knows we're up, but can't see us).

I really appreciate any thoughts or ideas. Thank you!

[Lilith]

Hi there and welcome

Which is going to be the lesser of two evils? Trying to get ready for work and off while he screams nonstop like a baby, or letting him out and stumbling about getting ready for work with affectionate kitten under your feet?

Myself I'd be inclined to let him out to say good morning - and then provide a tasty little breakfast snack or treat to get him back into his room and out of mischief while you're running your partner to work. Chances are he'll learn this routine in no time and go and wait for his tasty little breakfast etc in his room (and probably yell the place down for his tlb, but that's cats for you lol.)

All the best with him

[lilynmitz]

Poor lad so desperately wants to be part of he group. Could you get up a few minutes earlier for he sake of your third family member, give him some quality attention and food, then if necessary pop him back in his room while you're out for those 10 mins? I'm not sure why you find this sweet and perfectly normal little fella being a lively youngster so difficult. He will grow out of this eventually, meanwhile just enjoy him.

[chicago212]

Thanks for the welcome @Lilith. We'll try the stumbling around with him plus a treat combo. Good idea. It's about 5:30 am, so perhaps we'll be stumbling, too.

@lilynmitz - if there's a way to change his behavior so that we all live a bit more peaceably—especially at that hour(!), I'm all for it.

Believe me, reading about what can happen with separation anxiety, health issues, etc, I am very thankful this is the biggest issue currently.

[lilynmitz]

I haven't found that cats suffer from separation anxiety in the same way that dogs do, as their bond with us is subtly different due to their psychology, dogs being pack animals, with cats being more solitary, albeit that many clearly do value human company. He just wants to be part of the fun. I find mine are always love some attention in the morning, after a night of quiet followed by lots of exciting activity happening, and food appearing. I'd just relax and let him join in, talk back to him, give him a bit of fuss, I think you'll soon find it becomes part of the morning routine. Can you imagine how frustrating it is for him to hear and see all this going on and not being allowed to join you? At his age, it's like asking a toddler to stay in bed and be quiet until you're ready for him - like that's going to work ! To be honest, I don't think "training him" in the way you decribe is going to work. This might work with a dog, but it's highly unlikely it will work on a cat in the same way, as he'll just get even more bored and frustrated.

Forgive me for asking, but are you more used to dogs than cats? Because it sounds to me like you're trying to treat him like the former, without appreciating the difference in psychology with cats. They really are very different creatures. You may find "Cat Confidential" by Vicky Hall really helpful to get your head round how cats operate, and it's a good read as well.

[Lilith]

5.30 am???

You and your girlfriend are heroes!

Let us know how you go on with him, all the best

[chicago212]

@lilynmitz - I've done a bit of reading and research of others with cats and training of them. Won't claim to be an expert, but, for example, I had found this site/video (see the second one using the clicker and treats): https://drsophiayin.com/blog/entry/trai ... t-do-i-do/

It's nice to hear that this might be a phase, and I can certainly understand the toddler example - thanks!

@Lilith - life with someone in med school.

We let him out this morning (and then put him back in) and it seemed to work very well. We have high hopes! Thanks again!

[Lilith]

Hey that's great - hope he continues to behave - congrats and please keep updating.

Errm...as to training, all my cats have trained me...

[OHWS]

.

[Grace56]

My Dave is a very chatty cat and I would never dream of trying to change him. I adore how he talks to and answers me.
It's part of the loveliness of life with a cat.