Please meet Teddy

[Ruth B]

As you probably all ready know, two weeks ago I had to say good bye to our golden oldie Tiggy, at 19 years old she had had a good innings and while it hurt to let her go, it wasn't really a surprise. Some people need time to recover after saying good bye to one of their pets, I'm not one of them, for me searching for a new one to welcome into a loving home is therapeutic, so soon I was browsing pet sites.

Seven years ago we had to say good bye to our old Ragdoll, and ever since I had wanted another. While I had Tiggy and the juniors, i knew I couldn't have one, Tiggy could not have coped with another cat in the house, we managed with my Mum's old cat, but it was obvious it was too many cats, so I knew I had to wait. I also knew the chances of finding another adult Ragdoll when I wanted one were minimal so I was likely looking at getting a kitten. I knew it wasn't the preferred option, but I was prepared to manage with one. I also was prepared to pay full price to get a kitten with a pedigree as long as your arm, not because I wanted a show kitten, but because a registered breeder is less likely to be a backyard breeder. There also wasn't a rush, i could take my time to find the one I wanted.

I started with the rescue sites, nothing with in a reasonable distance (I didn't want to bring one a hundred miles or more), the official breed sites were no use at all it seemed like they hadn't been updated in months, they were advertising kittens ready in November or December, that meant they had either gone by now, or someone was doing some very advanced planning. So on to the best of the less reputable selling sites, I knew as long as I was careful I should be fine. I found a few, really cute kittens, registered, within range, but something i couldn't put my finger on rang a warning bell, or maybe my precognition was kicking in. A couple of days later and I spotted an 18 month old Flame Point Ragdoll. While my other half knew I was looking,it wasn't something I could act on without conferring with him first, but he when he got home he was happy enough, so I contacted the seller. The flame point had gone by that time, but they did have a 2 year old seal point also for sale. After a number of messages and a few phone calls, and fully admitting my cats have access to outside during the day, but are never forced outside, I put down a deposit on him. I know they say not to put down a deposit without seeing the cat, but with phone calls and videos, I was happy enough, an adult cat isn't quite the same as a kitten. Also no pedigree, which again doesn't' bother me with an adult cat, the ages makes me think they were Covid cats and now people are back at work and children back at school and the cats no longer fitted the household as well as they did last year, a sad story for so many pets.

So last Saturday we took a trip with an empty carrier in the boot, and came home with a full one. Teddy is settled in the lounge. He is very nervous at the moment as to be expected, I was actually a bit worried as he barely ate anything for the first 36 to 48 hours, but in the early hours of Monday morning he was starting to explore a bit and eating again (the camera I got to keep an eye on the cat flap is coming into its own for watching what Teddy gets up to when I'm not in there). He is still hiding most of the time we are in there, but last night i was sat quietly playing games on the tablet and he came out, he wouldn't come near me and ran for cover when I moved, but as long as I as was still he would sit on the sofa or the scratcher/lounger across the room from me. To say he is in a strange house, with strange people, and can smell strange cats, in addition British Gas are replacing the pipes in the street so there has been quite a bit of noise from that and the lounge is at the front of the house. All in all, he is doing well, but he has as long as he needs, once he is settled and happy with us, then I can start on introducing him to Saturn and Freyja.

[Mollycat]

How do you do, Gorgeous Teddy!

Did they give you his story? Really that is rescue, because for most people looking for a kitten a 2 year old would be too old! But regardless of playing around with words, you now have a Raggie again and Teddy looks absolutely magnificent. And his coat looks not too long, quite manageable!

The breeder who retired my Boo at 8 years old advertised online, I think it's different when they are kitten-kittens and when they are a bit growed up kittens. Plus you have enough experience and could sniff out anything dodgy.

[fjm]

Beautiful boy! It sounds as if he is already beginning to relax and settle in - I look forward to hearing more as you get to know each other and his personality emerges.

[booktigger]

Aww, I'm glad you managed to get an adult raggie, am sure he'll settle down soon

[Ruth B]

I don't know whether I'm just an oddity or it is something that has developed with experience, but I would much rather take in an adult cat than a kitten. Kittens are incredibly cute but they are a handful, and really don't stay kittens for long. After I had Saturn and Freyja i swore i would never have a cat under a year old again, for a Raggie I would have broken that promise, but I'm really glad I didn't have to. I see all the footage of mum cats with kittens that charities put up, and while I can enjoy watching the kittens, it is always the mum that catches my attention.

With the juniors now 7 (they will always be the juniors even though they are now the senior cats int he house) and Teddy only 2 years old, it will hopefully be another 10 years or so before I'm looking again, and by that point in life I will be looking for older cats. Not wanting to sound glum, but my family history tells me that I'll be lucky to make mid 70s, so this was my last chance to plan on having 15 to 20 years available to see a young Raggie through its years.

[booktigger]

I'm the same, and I never fully enjoyed fostering kittens, mainly because of how hard work it is coming in after a full days work and having to do the cleaning before you can do the fun part of playing with them. I normally take over 12's, as I hate the thought of them being in a rescue at the end of their life, but it didn't quite work out that way with the current three, although will be my ambition again when something happens to Lucy, I will need a friendly cat, couldn't just have the girls.

[Mollycat]

You never know how the girls might develop with free run of the house all the time and no other cat to share with, even if they never meet.

I have always envied the people who just find an animal. A friend years ago found a kitten out in the rain in the middle of the night, ironically at the end of my road, too young to be out at all, so he put him in his pocket and kept him. Our dog now was a find by my husband, 4 weeks old left in a box to die in early December, picked him up and kept him. My cats have always come naturally and I should hate to ever have to choose. Hubby wants a Maine Coon kitten - he is extremely unlikely ever to get one!

[booktigger]

Not sure they'd be ready for full reign of the house, when I get up on a weekend to feed them and go back to bed, they fly back in their room, so not sure I'd want that for them 24/7. I also haven't often gone out to find cats, most find me but that will be different now I'm no longer volunteering.

[susand]

What an incredibly handsome man Ruth! He looks absolutely stunning. I hope he is settles in OK.Do keep us updated on progress. I’m sorry to hear about Tiggy but as you say, 19 is a good innings.

[Ruth B]

When we take on a pet, unless it is a tortoise, we know there is a good chance we will out live it and facing the loss and the grief that follows is a small price for all the love they can give us.

Teddy is quite happily wandering around, eating, drinking (seeing him 'dig' for water brough back strong memories of Blue who would always do the same) using his litter tray and spending a lot of time sat on sofas or looking out of the window, as long as no one is in the room with him, if we go in the room he runs for cover. He likes his dried food, but is conviced that any wet food is poison, I offer him some every other night we were told he wasn't keen on it, but I would prefer he had a mixed diet. He has licked at it and perhaps eaten the tiniest amount from a corner, fortunately i still have my tuxie gannet who will happily clear up any leftovers.

So for the time being it is just a case of playing the waiting game, sitting quietly in with him until he gets used to us as well as his new surroundings. When I get to that point I can consider trying to introduce him to Saturn and Freyja. One thing I'm really glad of, and would advice anyone getting a new cat to get, is the little camera I have in the room. It cost about £25 from Amazon and sends notifications to my phone when it picks up movement, its motion detecting range isn't good, only about 10 feet, but it covers most of the room and has really let me know how well he is behaving and adapting when I'm not in there.

[Mollycat]

Is it a Ragdoll thing I wonder, as Bobby used to do it too. I always put it down to his blue eyes, as they are more light sensitive than coloured eyes and Bobby used to squint through the narrowest slit pupils. He also struggled to see certain things, like the laser pointer on certain colours, had to concentrate on the rug patterns, and would try to pick the housing association's logo off any letter I left around. Given all of that I thought struggling to see the surface in a bowl of water was very likely.

Glad to read that Teddy is settling a bit more, sounds like he will be a real patience and gentleness one.

[Kay]

I've never been able to persuade 14 year old Penny in the 3 years she's been with me that wet cat food is not poison, and that goes for cooked and raw human meat and fish too - but she does really like a Felix soup each evening, and even deigns to swallow a few of the bits in it

and she's easily the healthiest older cat I have ever had, and I've had a few in my time, so I am quite happy to feed her the only two flavours of biscuits she'll eat - fortunately they are high end variety - and be grateful she is not costing me a fortune

[Ruth B]

Well I have found the wet food Teddy does like, Gourmet Pearl in Gravy. We were told he like Gourmet Pearl and had a box of it in jelly open, and he turned his nose up at it, as well as Thrive, and another one in jelly we had, so we are getting somewhere with him. I can try and get some Felix in Gravy or some Gourmet Gold in sauce options to try him on as well.

I've been spending time in the room with him and he is definitely getting used to me, if not confident enough to come over and see me yet. He will happily sit on the sofa on the opposite side of the room, or on the windowsill above it. All I can say is I've spend more time playing silly little computer games on my tablet in the last week than i have in the year before hand, it is something i can do while keeping half an eye on him, but with my attention elsewhere as far has he is concerned. He will also just about let me move around the room while he is sat there, as long as i don't try and get close to him. Techniques I learnt with Freyja are paying off with Teddy, learning how to move and turn side on or with my back to him so I'm not threatening him in his mind. I've also learn to use the camera on the Ipad to look at him indirectly at times.

I will admit I thought Teddy would adapt quicker, being used to people and other cats, I've had cats that were out and about in a few hours, I thought Teddy might be one of them, but he is his own cat and doing things his own way. I've had the experience to know to let him be, but it makes me realise why so many people question why their new cat is hiding a week or so after getting them and wonder if they are doing something wrong.

[Mollycat]

I met one of those years ago, a friend had me look after her daughter's cat whom I had never met for a weekend. Daughter dropped her off, before she had left said cat was out of her carrier giving my flat a quick once-over before coming to make friends with me. She slept on my head and greeted every visitor I summoned to meet her with the same warm enthusiasm.

Today is Molly's 9th anniversary. They all develop at their own pace, I'm sure he is fine.

[booktigger]

I must admit, given they are a laid back breed, I thought he would have been better than he is by now. Glad you have found some wet food he'll eat, have you tried the Mon Petit pouches - I only buy them on offer, as they can be pricey otherwise.

[Mollycat]

I must admit, given they are a laid back breed, I thought he would have been better than he is by now.

But what has been through? They are also very loyal, maybe being given up is a big betrayal and will take time to get over?

[Ruth B]

I know a little about where he came from, from what I could when we collected him, and what had been said in messages.
They got him 2 years ago when he was 8 weeks old, a bit young for my liking but not uncommon, but it also means he was a Covid Cat. They had 6 cats, all Ragdolls, 3 neutered males that were being rehomed as the unspayed queens were constantly pestering them. There was also at least one 10 week old kitten (incredibly cute and I was half tempted to smuggle it out in a pocket, but I really wasn't after a kiiten) In addition the husband had just got a new job which was going to take him abroad, and the wife was working 12 hour shifts and doing ambulance training. They also had three children of varying ages (my guess would be pre and early teens). It was a fairly normal 3 or 4 bedroom house. So as he was bought during the first lockdown, i have a feeling that the house was rather busy with parents, children and cats. He then was torn away from all that, put in a room that had the smell of strange cats and strange people, and being left alone in there quite a bit.

There were quite a few break throughs yesterday though. He has decided he likes the windowsill better than under the sofa, he can tuck himself away at the far end, behind the curtain and the end of the sideboard, hiding behind a money plant that should be moved outside, but I hate the sought of taking what he is viewing as safe cover. He seems happy to watch us from there as well as seeing what is happening outside, which having had British Gas digging up the road for the last couple of weeks has been a lot of entertainment for him, as well as a lot of noise which probably didn't help to start with. while we were sat in the lounge with him eating tea yesterday he actually came off the windowsill and had a sniff at my OH's shoes, before returning to where he came from. Later on I was sat watching something on my IPad, and he came off the windowsill again, used his litter tray (it takes a certain type of person to appreciate a cat using a litter tray in front of them, but that is when he is vulnerable so it showed a degree of trust in me), had a bit to eat and when I stretched out a hand he came and had a good sniff of my fingers. I did then reach to try and stroke the face and ears but that was too much and he once again withdrew to the windowsill to think about things.

Its all small steps at his pace, but so far it has all be going forward with him, he has also started meowing at me a bit, which I also take as a good sign. One other interesting one I noticed yesterday, Saturn has been intrigued with the shut door and has tried to follow me in several times, i'm being careful to keep him out, but then while i was in there yesterday, and Teddy was having some crunchies, Saturn was making some noise on the other side of the door and actually banged into the door at one point (I think he was playing with a catnip sardine), it didn't make Teddy nervy at all, in fact the opposite, he went to the door curious to know what was going on, he could no doubt hear and smell Saturn, but there was no sign of fear or aggression, it gives me hope that the introductions when I really start them will go fairly smoothly.

[Mollycat]

Progress does sound very positive indeed, agreed on using the tray in front of you.

Believe it or not I have read all this nodding at a familiar story. Molly also came from a noisy chaotic home and was first rescued at 9 months old, to a quiet home with a young couple. But the noise and chaos made her nervous, people were unpredictable, and so take much longer to be trusted. All this makes sense. Using the tray, to my astonishment Molly would use the bathroom one while I was in the bath from very early on, but I thought maybe this just underlines that people being loud and moving around erratically is the issue. If that's the case Teddy would be learning that you don't suddenly jump up, shout, or grab him. That will take a long time, in my very limited experience much longer than a cat that has been actively abuse by one person, because it takes so much more repetition to realise that something will never happen. I hope I'm making sense. If I'm right, he might want a bit more opportunity to investigate you before you can reach out.

[Ruth B]

All of that makes perfect sense, as does Molly using the bathroom tray while you are in the bath if she had one in a bathroom before. When you are in the bath you are relaxed and quiet, it is probably the one place where no one makes any sudden movements, so she knew it was a safe place and time. Teddy however either didn't read what you had put about it taking time, or being a cat decided to be contrary last night.

I was in with him again last night prepared to sit quiet and let him decided what to do. He was out and about, generally mooching around the room, so i had one of the wand and string toys in there, a big one about 5' wand and 6' string with a 'wiggly worm' on the end so I thought i would see if he was interested. The next half hour was spent with paws everywhere as he scampered around the room after it, typical Ragdoll fashion, it was the first time i had really seen him as a 2 year old, when he was nervous or just quietly investigating he had seemed older. He then quietly settled on the sofa to recover for about 15 minutes till it was time for me to get ready for bed. I know i have to reach over him t pull the curtains, and do so slowly and deliberately giving him time to run if he wants. He stays where he is, again I let him sniff my fingers and gently with a single finger rub the side of his face below the ear. That was it, he was gone, not off the sofa, but into full on Ragdoll dope mode. It had been 10 days since he had had an ear rub and he wanted one, pushing his head into my hand, moving it so I could rub both ears and under his chin, then he rolled on his back and i even risked a short belly rub, not pushing it for long, but enough to see he enjoyed it and for him to know i would stop when he wanted. That was almost more than the break through I had been waiting for.

He is in hiding again this morning when I went in to clean the litter tray and check water and crunchies, but that might have had something to do with Saturn singing the song of his people for half an hour at the top of his lungs, before I gave in and got up. (My OH is off work for most of this week and we don't have to get up at 6.30, but Saturn thinks I should anyway).

[Mollycat]

Fantastic! Well your old Blue never read the memo and neither did my Boo, good old Raggies!

Maybe the play session helped you relax and stop worrying about him settling, too.

Also, I've never kept an incoming cat in a separate room (never needed to and now don't have a room) but do they really get to spend enough time with us while they are segregated? Genuine question. Because my incoming cats have always had the run of the house - obviously not possible for proper introductions - so they have been able to approach me or initiate a conversation (as Boo did) and retreat to another whole room, rather than me deciding when I can make myself available for them to approach and still be there if they want more distance. Just a thought. Molly also first started investigating me and later visitors while humans sleep, so no danger of anyone trying to touch.

[susand]

It sounds like he is making great progress Ruth. I’m sure he’ll be coming to you for ear scritches again very shortly.

[Mollycat]

Had a thought, perhaps it's the approach of the hand that makes him nervous. Could you try for a few days letting him sniff your hand then praising him as you move your hand gently away? See if the nothing happens when I sniff helps him to trust you.

My old cat Misha always hated the hand coming towards her in her line of sight. She was affectionate as anything, not shy, not traumatised, but the hand always had to come from behind her or risk losing a finger.

[Ruth B]

Interesting about Misha, Freyja is the opposite, she needs to see the hand, go in from the back or even the side at times and she will run, only attack if you really wind her up and keep pushing it.

When it comes to keeping a cat separate I never have had a problem, they have to get used to the new room first so it doesn't matter whether you are in there or not with them, when they are settled you just have to make time to be in there, quietly reading, or watching something and let them decide when to come out. Like anything else, it is just a matter of knowing you have to do it so you make the time to do it.

Teddy on the other hand just needed a bit of time to get used to me. When I offer him the hand to sniff now he is headbutting it to get it behind his ears, and loving all the fuss he can get. I even went as far as trying to pick him up yesterday, and he let me, only for a few seconds, and I need to work out how he likes to be held, but wasn't running off and being shy of me afterwards just wanting more fuss. I'll see about getting him booked in the vets next week for a general check up and starting his vaccines again, while he did have them as a kitten, the people who had him previously hadn't bothered to keep them going as he was an indoor cat. Then we start on introductions.

I say we start on introduction, but really it is a bit more of a continuation of bad practice. I ahve told so many people on here about how introductions should be carried out, gone though all the scent soaker and feeding either side of the door instructions, unfortunately it is very much a matter of do as I say not as I do. I currently have two very curious cats. Saturn is desperate to find out what is going in the lounge and is suffering severely from shut door syndrome, Teddy is now confident in the room and with me, so much so that he tries to follow me when i leave. Both last night and this morning Saturn and Teddy almost came nose to nose, no more than a couple of feet between them. Teddy totally unbothered about Saturn, Saturn a little wary about Teddy, but no hissing or growling just trying to get the others measure. I did let Teddy wander a bit outside his door and onto the bottom step of the stairs this morning, scent soakers are all well and good when a cat will deign to sleep on them, letting Teddy wander a bit under supervision may help more in the end. Freyja is going to be far harder to introduce, as she is so wary of anything new, and has been a bit neurotic of late due t the lounge door being shut. As with anything to do with Freyja, it is just a matter of taking it slow.
One thing I do know now, Teddy is a big cat, I always knew he was just by looking at him, but having seen him besides Saturn and having picked him up, i know he is a BIG cat, I don't think he is that fat, just that he is a Ragdoll and they are not a small breed.

[Mollycat]

I don't mean this to come across as arrogant in any way but I think when you know cats well you can tell if you have the right characters to make your own path. The advice for steps is sound and essential for people who don't yet know cats well enough to recognise the red flags, or misinterpret signals. I've never done it either but then I have only once brought a cat in, others have been their own free choice, and even then it was because resident cat desperately needed company.

So it does sound like he is settling very well now, just took a little time to get started.

[Ruth B]

I gone through introductions several times and never followed the steps, even though I've vocal on here when people ask about introductions. I think one of the main points of the steps is to keep everything slow. The cats can hear and smell the other cat, even without using scent soakers, they just need to learn that they are meant to be here and aren't an invader, and that takes time.

Teddy did have a bit of a wander yesterday morning under supervision, and explored the ground floor a bit. Today he has been a bit more subdued, but I expected that. When I phoned the vets yesterday they could fit him in in the afternoon, and as my OH was at home, transport wasn't a problem, so he had his first set of vaccinations, as they hadn't been done since 2020 he will need it again in 3 weeks time to get him up to full cover Fortunately while he did have a moment of panic when he saw the carrier, he was good to box really, I think he was just scared that having gotten settled in he was going to be moved on to somewhere new again. Once he was back home he settled back on the sofa quickly enough.

[Ruth B]

Things are going well, Teddy is wanting to follow me out of his room now, and I am letting him under supervision two or three times a day, only for a few minutes at a time, but enough to help spread his scent around and for him to get used to Saturn and Freyja's scents. Last night he literally came nose to nose with Saturn. As normal in an evening, Saturn wanted to know why the door was shut, and Teddy was trying to follow me out. They saw each other from a foot or so away and then approached each other. I had a piece of foam card in hand just in case I need to put something between them, but it wasn't needed. They approached cautiously, and literally were nose to nose. I'm not sure which one gave a little hiss, nothing threatening, more of a 'what the hell' statement. Saturn then back up a couple of stairs, and Teddy sidled to along side the wall to get past him. Both were aware of the other and watching them, but out of interest rather than aggression. About as perfect as it could get in my mind.

Freyja is going to be harder as she will run and hide if there is anything strange, and having the lounge door shut has upset her anyway. I don't want her rushing in there and hiding as there are far too many hidey holes we couldn't get her out of easily. I would also Teddy didn't discover under the bed in a panic just yet, I also don't really want him learning how to use a cat flap just yet. So it is just slow supervised wanderings for the time being.

@Mollycat, you were wondering how they get used to you if they aren't allowed to be around you, that is very much coming into evidence with Teddy. Over the last 2 weeks i've been spending an hour or two each day, just sat in there with him as well as being the main one to clean his litter tray and do his food and water (I do litter trays, but food and water is just the way it worked out). Teddy will now come and sit beside me on the sofa. My other half, even though he has had most of last week off has only been in there when we were having breakfast of tea in there. he is now seeming a little put out that Teddy runs back to his room if he comes down when Teddy is having an explore and was sitting with me this morning not going anywhere near him. I can understand his time is limited when he is working, but as he had 4 days off last week, i can only say it is his fault if Teddy is looking to me for reassurance.

[Mollycat]

Oh interesting! And if he is already running to you (even if it is away from husband) that is great progress.

Ideal even if unplanned meeting with Saturn, hoping it continues this well for them both. Are Saturn and Freyja close? Does she trust his judgement, at least a bit?

[Ruth B]

Freyja, does know Saturn, and does trust him to an extent, but unfortunately Tiggy was the one she really trusted. Saturn I think can be a bit boisterous for her at times, insisting on play fighting when she isn't really interested, she does occasionally have to yell at him. My hope, long term, is that Teddy will be a nice quiet companion for her, while he will still run and hide at the moment, it is still early days, and he is nothing like as nervous as she is, so hopefully he will give her some confidence back, and as he is only 2 years old, and a big cat, he will be able to cope with Saturn when he wants to play.

I think just lettng Teddy out to wander a bit when he wants is still the best option, he knows the lounge as his safe area and runs back there when it gets too much for him.

[Ruth B]

Once more the unplanned meeting, but this time it was with Freyja.

Sorting out breakfasts this morning, and taking Teddy his buffet through, two different types of crunchies and a bowl with a bit of wet food in it, i'm trying to get him onto food we normally have in, still have to make my coffee so haven't put the food down for the juniors or Freyja will just get all upset if i'm in the kitchen while she is trying to eat. Teddy is not food centric so wasn't head first in a bowl when I put them down, instead he wanted to come out with me. Saturn and Freyja were both in the dining room, the stairs are right by the door to the lounge. Teddy, Freyja and Saturn all came face to face. Saturn being his normal yellow self, left Freyja to deal with it, backing off into the kitchen. Freyja went up a couple of steps and proceeded to sit and watch Teddy. Teddy took a couple of steps forward and then leaned forward to sniff Freyja, she also leaned forward to do the same to him and they ended up with their noses about 2" apart, then they both just settled back down, Freyja stayed where she was Teddy took a couple more steps forward to sniff chairs and the like while she watched, and then went back to the lounge and the door was shut again. Freyja has a slighty oddity in her fur, her white fur is very short, but her black fur is a lot longer, as her tail is black and her body mostly white, when she puffs up her tail it seems to be as big as her body, when she met Teddy it did go up a little but no where near to the full extent. So another successful meeting.

This afternoon may be time to experiment and take it a bit further. i'm running a D&D game for some online friends this afternoon (I know, I'm a geek) and will be sat in the dining room to do it, i might just leave the door open and see if Teddy will join me in there, I'm right by the cat flap so I can make sure he doesn't go out, I doubt he would he is fairly wary about trying new things, but hopefully he might join me and sit on a chair beside me.

[Mollycat]

Wow Ruth things are advancing quickly and positively!