Helping with cat training/just getting along

[Mrs Kane]

Hey guys,

I haven't been around a lot. And I'm sorry about that. With work picking up so drastically I haven't had a lot of time to be here and still make time for Sofi.

However I would really like your help:

Lately, Sofi has become... difficult. She doesn't like to be stroked anymore. Even attempting interaction, even on her terms, normally ends in myself or my boyfriend getting scratches.

I won't lie, I'm feeling pretty low about our whole relationship at the moment. Sofi used to meet me at the door after work, She used to sit at my feet when I made dinner and used to lay in bed with me. Now she doesn't seem to care if I'm here or not. She doesn't even seem to like playing anymore. She sleeps all day on the sofa and hides away at night. The only time she allows affection is when I'm about to feed her.

Now I know that some people may say it's because I'm at work more that she's become distant. But I was away a lot in June and July for work and she still seemed happy to me.

I'm not really sure what to do. I thought about taking her to the vet to see if she was ill, but apart from her steady apathy she doesn't have any other symptoms. She still eats well, and drinks. She's still as active as I remember.

Can anyone offer advice?

[Crewella]

I find that my cats and I do go through various phases of togetherness and then independence. Personally, I'd back off for a little while and let her come back to you. I'm pretty sure she will. Sometimes when you feel a bit low and irritated they pick up on it and it becomes a bit of a downward spiral. (((hugs)))

[SarahT1 [PLLE]]

Oh Mrs Kane, I am sorry because I can understand how sad this makes you feel. You want to be close with your little girl. Helen's advice is good. Just keep an eye on her in case you need to rethink taking her to the vet, but try not to burden her with your own anxiety. Run your mind back over anything which might have changed for Sofi that you're not consciously aware of. When Pepsi first came to live with us she was very, very loving and attentive but she went through a phase of being p****d off with us after we adopted Lou Lou. Gradually she came back to herself as she understood that more cats doesn't mean less love to go around.

I'm emailing you separately about another idea.

Take care

Sarah

[bobbys girl]

I think Helen is right, I wouldn't worry too much about this. If you do Sofi might well pick up on that and make the situation worse.

Recently my Baby Bobby has gone a bit like that. Just last night, Willow was standing on my knee, head-butting me for attention (she's gone the OTHER way). Bob bounced in from his adventures outside, straight on to my knee, shoving Willow over the arm of the sofa. He stared at me for a moment, before jumping on to the other sofa and lay down. When I went to make a fuss of him, he put his one, big, muscular front paw on my hand and pushed me away.

Normally he'd love a cuddle. Now he just looks at me as if I'm daft. It hurts your feelings doesn't it?

[Mrs Kane]

Thanks guys, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one that has had a 180º cat.

Tbh it does hurt an awful lot. I love Sofi so much and now she's acting like this it makes me feel really quite sad and depressed. She's never been perfect and I can forgive that she never likes being picked up and cuddled, and her little lap sits were on her terms but she is my baby, you know? I hope that soon she'll return to her old self.

I'm hoping I'm not stressing her out. I guess a few more weeks of work will determine if that's true. I thought I wasn't putting off any negative vibes because I really love my job, despite the weird hours, and a little stress, but perhaps I'm alienating her without realising it.

PS, I'm sorry Sarah but I haven't received an email. My account can be kinda buggy so please try again @ [email protected] It would be nice to have your opinion. I count everyone here as friends so anything you have to say means a great deal to me.

Well, I'm up far later than I should be, so I'll say sweet dreams to everyone.

Thankyou all, I know this may seem like a silly problem, and I appreciate you taking the time to read and offer your best answers.

[Crewella]

I do understand, it's weird how something that seems so little can hurt so much, but don't take it personally. And remember that cat manners are very different from ours - it's good cat manners to ignore each other and look away, for example. I know my Daz loves me, and in times of stress he will turn to me and loves his cuddles, but some days he barely says hello!

One advantage of having a houseful, of course, is that at least there's usually one that will talk to me!