Shy

[msalsa]

Happy new year everyone.
I again need some good cat advice and thought I would consult you all.
There is a cat that I have seen and I am thinking of adopting, I have been looking for a while and this one does appeal.
He has belonged to someone who apparently wanted him to live outside then they abandoned him and he was then fed by a kind person next door until he could be placed into the rescue center.
He is very very shy and hides a lot, he has been encouraged gently to have some fussing and has responded to tuna bribes and has partaken in the odd nose rub and head stroke, when he had to be put into the carrier for the vet check he let it happen without aggression but was not very happy but no swipes, he has hissed when met with a new person but it did not last. the rescue center has made efforts and the staff regularly go into the pen and try to make friends but he prefers to hide away.
so what are your thoughts, Iv'e not had any experience with very shy cats do they normally come round? I'm happy to be patient but not sure on a cat that is unable to relax or venture into the home and make it his own.
Any advice or thoughts would be welcome.
Oh... for extra info... I am catless at the moment after loosing Ted to an rta over two years ago, been spending some time looking for a new cat and decided a few times to give up as I just wasn't ready as heart was still broken
I have gone through the whole process of what to do, indoor cat, older cat that won't travel too far, cat proofing the garden. You name it and I have thought about it, then I bumped into my vets nurse and had a chat and she said just go for it, stop worrying about the road that Ted was killed, get an older grateful cat and stop and finding all the reasons not to, so I am. Anyhow that was prob too much info.
Thanks

[Lilith]

Aww bless him - he's had a very disrupted life and he's confused - hence the hissing and hiding, but to me sounds as if he needs a home to blossom in

I too would say 'go for it' - you may have to make allowances at first, give him privacy and time to come round, but I feel you won't be disappointed but there is plenty of support on here if you need advice about settling him in - and good on you for considering a cat who might not have a conventional chance of a home because of his shyness

[Crewella]

I agree with Lilith, and I think it's wonderful that you're thinking of taking on a cat that needs someone to take a leap of faith with him. I've had a couple of cats that were very shy at first, and I fostered one last year that had spent four months hiding in the box at the back of her pen at the rescue. After she came to live in my spare room I'd spend an hour or so every day sitting with her, and reading to her to get her used to my voice. It's hugely rewarding to see them start to come round and absolutely worth the effort, I would have kept her but she doesn't much like other cats and luckily a lovely couple came forward wanting to adopt her as an only cat. Apparently she now loves a fuss and a lap, though is still quite nervous with strangers.

This boy sounds like a really nice cat who's just had a really rotten start in life and been badly let down. It might take months, but if you're patient and understanding I'm sure he'll come round and there's lots of help and advice here if you're worried about anything ..... go get him!

[nanny pamy]

My cat Theo is also very shy. When he was in the rescue he hid in the back of his pen and was bullied by the other cats. He just looked so sad. I used to visit him and coax him out with treats.Its been so rewarding. He loves his fuss now, he's not a knee cat but will snuggle up right next to us for belly rubs. He's still very scared with strangers and will hide away upstairs till visitors leave but then be happily runs down when its just us. He's such a gentle big boy, even at the vets he's never shown any aggression, the vet thinks he may have been ill treated to be so timid around people. He's an indoor cat, we've sat in the garden with the door open but he won't come out and if birds fly past he runs upstairs. He seems frightened of outside. But I wouldn't change him for the world. Hes got his own unique little personality, a shy quirky fella whos so happy with us in his safe little world and I'm so glad we rescued him.

[msalsa]

Good Morining
As always invaluable and excellent advice, thank you so much

[lilynmitz]

My two Zig and Elsie were both very frightened when I got them, about 4 momnths apart. Zig in particular had been found as a terrified stray and it took his fosterer months to build up his confidence, but he had to go through it all again when he came to me. But they are now the most loving, funny, happy and affectionate cats. Elsie is now brave enough to join us when we have visitors, although Zig still prefers to hide away when anything out of the usual routine happens. I'd take on scaredy cats again in a heartbeat - it's so rewarding seeing them come out of their shell, and they're so grateful for a safe and loving home.

Just let him hide as much as he wants - set up a "safe room" for him (I used the spare bedroom) where he can hide under the bed on a comfy rug/cat bed, with food, water and litter, and spend time in there just sitting with him and talking to him, and offering a hand to sniff. ( I spent a lot of time lying on the floor for the first few weeks, reaching into the depths of the bed to offer treats and gentle fusses, till they eventually pluck up the courage to come out and see you.) Then let him slowly explore the rest of the house, one room at a time, but always let him retreat to his safe room if he's having a wobble.

It sounds like the rescue are doing all the right things, so just keep it up and I'm sure you'll both be rewarded with a very special bond.

[msalsa]

Hi
Getting more confident by the moment! Hope to go and see him soon, I've just come down with the flu so hoping to be going as soon as able to drive properly. I forgot to mention that I live alone.....son just left home .....but soon to feel like I hope.
I also work full time so hoping this will give the cat time to settle in and I can spend an hour with him in the evening. What do you think still ok? Or would he be better with someone around all day? I mentioned him to a lady at work who said it may be better for the cat if he had someone around in the day more......ho hum

[Crewella]

Personally, I think an hour a day is fine. He might come round quicker if you had longer to spend with him, but on the other hand he just might find it a bit full-on and stressful at first. Look at it this way - he's better off with an hour a day with you than still in a pen with nobody. And you'll have the odd holiday/weekend?

[Mayday21]

Hi Shy I think Crewella's summed up the situation very well. Vivian

[greenkitty]

Don't forget you're not seeing him at his best, despite the best efforts of the rescue he's obviously finding life in there very stressful and who knows what will happen when he's in a home of his own... Good on you for considering giving this lad a chance

[notjustacat]

I have one of those, the photo is her. But to call her shy would be an understatement. She, Cheyenne (it's all in the name) was a black 4 year old rescue cat from the RSPCA. She was terrified of everything but I was unable to find out anything regarding her past history. So with no experience at all with nervous cats I took her on. Now, two and a half years later I have only just stroked her. But only on her terms. She isn't aggressive but even now is still wary in some situations. It's only in the past couple of months that she has taken to sleeping in a chair in the living room. Previous to that she spent most of her time in an upstairs room hiding and only came out at food times. She is an outdoor cat and she did go missing for a week. But turned up again as though nothing had happened. However of late her wanderings are getting less, as she seems to prefer sleeping in her chair. She still heads for the cat flap if a visitor turns up, but I am sure she will overcome that in time. Now would I have taken her on if I had know what was coming, You bet I would I love her to bits. After all that I haven't regretted a moment. If you have the patience and are prepared for a possible long hall then go for it. The way I look at it Cheyenne has food, comfort and freedom. She was never going to be most peoples first choice at the rescue centre. I must mention that I have been given some very useful advice from this forum over those early years.

[msalsa]

Hi

Just to update you, I've missed out and he has been adopted, I couldn't get there today and didn't want to reserve him so its good news for him. So I shall be keeping my eye out, thank you all for your help as always.