Re-introducing Casper to his mom and sister - let's see if we can get this done right

[Joe_Danger]

Mila_Kala_Casper0123.jpg (138.62 KiB) Viewed 8924 times

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Casper, it's time to grow up, buddy
your mom can't clean you up after every meal at this age
http://i.imgur.com/LutNefT.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/07aCiT2.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/QQ6Hc7k.jpg

I KNOW this can't happen in cats, but Milla pampers Casper as if she is making up for lost time, it's unbelivable.
Ever since she recognized him by his purr that day she went back to being his doting mom and then some. EVERY time Casper eats wet food, he eats rather aggressively so he does leave some on his fur Milla swoops in from somewhere if she is awake and cleans him up nice and good.


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I think we're making amazing progress
http://i.imgur.com/S6WVdF9.jpg

Had to take a few pics of Casper alone, he is so gorgeous
http://i.imgur.com/9byt8NZ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Vk3f7YT.jpg

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This was originally a fun lil topic about Kala and Milla enjoying their Easter, but lo and behold Casper came back home He quickly and easily adjusted, in fact he acts as if he never left, knows the environment inside out, remembers his old name, Casper despite being named Pocky now, knows us and is very very loving, playful and gentle, as he was. More info in my posts throughout the thread BUT Milla and Kala have a very hard time accepting him.

A quick summary of the situation
- Casper is back home after 3 months, the guy who took him couldn't care for him properly also says he had allergies which i doubt given the situation
- He recognizes us, the environment, his old name Casper
- He knows all his favorite spots, he knows his favorite hiding spot
- His bond with my mom is as strong as ever which makes this all that much sweeter and harder
- I took a nap, he plopped himself on me and purred until he fell asleep just like he used to do
- Casper is 100% back to his old self, he even wants to play with his mom and sister
- He is very lovable, playful, responsive and sweet

- Milla, his mom, and Kala his sister don't recognize him as is to be expected
- They growl and hiss at him all the time
- He got into quite the scuffle with Kala, though they seem to play more and more as the day goes by
- Kala plays with him through a door, like they used to as babies, if he is separated in another room they play through the door again and Kala doesn't growl or hiss at him through a closed door
- Milla hisses at him through closed doors too

What I did to help ease the re-introduction
- Put vanilla on all their bums, this helped all three cats smell the same and I feel it helped the initial introduction a great deal
- Did my best to swap scents by petting them all and such
- Switched carriers, Milla and Kala's carrier are now where Capser is and his is in the living room, Kala took a liking to his carrier and sleeps in it, Milla was rubbing against it, not sure if this is a bad or a good thing
- Slowly introducing them by giving them time to interact and taking Casper back to his "room", the kitchen lol where he is locked up...tho if Milla tries hard enough and she IS a climber she can get in now that I think about it

So let's see if we can re-introduce them somehow

http://i.imgur.com/Kc8Dgd6.jpg

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The original content of this topic:

I haven't posted here in a while, figured I'd share some new pics of Kala and Milla
http://i.imgur.com/suB2hkj.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/9k1zLFV.jpg

Just Milla sitting proudly
http://i.imgur.com/F9jwSjn.jpg

a couple more bonus pics, you see Kala is very clumsy compared to her mom but she too tries to climb on high places, problem is she can't jump down herself and panics
http://i.imgur.com/iuuOAex.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/vujvgVc.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/efdWEKM.jpg

Kala is inseparable from me, she has to be next to me at all times
She isn't a lap cat so she won't sit on your lap, but she does sit on my right arm making it very difficult to use the mouse when im on the computer and she won't take the other arm no matter what

Hope y'all are having a great easter too, I'm not sure if your easter is today or not, sometimes they're the same sometimes they are not

[MarySkater]

Lovely pics, Joe.

No, our Easter (UK) was at the end of March. Quite a difference!

Mary

[Janey]

Awww lovely photos and Happy Easter to you, although not Easter in England it is May Day (Bank Holiday) tomorrow

[bobbys girl]

Happy Easter Joe - and Happy May Day too!

Lovely photo's. It is almost as if Milla is saying 'now this is the way to do it'.

[Crewella]

Happy easter - lovely pics! They really are alike, both gorgeous!

[Mayday21]

Joe so cute & definitely peas in a pod or like mum like daughter Vivian

[Joe_Danger]

Thanks everyone

Guys you won't believe what just happened.
Last week I had a dream I only had one more week with Casper before giving him away, in the dream he was the kitten I remembered, naturally I woke up crying...don't tell anyone especially not my friends and the lady I have a crush on since things are going quite well in that deparment
Fortunatley nobody was home to witness that act of utter unmanliness

Well fast forward to this morning and lo and behold, the people who took Casper, the white kitten who is now named Pocky seem to be allergic and they asked us if we want to take him back.

I will say this
ever since I gave the kittens away I prayed to God to return at least one to me, it was very painful for me to part with the kittens, before going to bed I'd always say "God, if we can keep one more cat and provide it with a good home and if one of my kittens is in need of a home again please bring it back home"

And it happened
I'm afraid that Milla and Kala won't take kindly to him, Milla especially but I have to try, if they don't get along I have a good home lined up for him where the people have experience with cats and love and take care of cats well.
But we have to try, this our Casper we're talking about, IF these folks decide they can't keep him due to their allergies then he is coming back home

[Crewella]

Oh bless him - souonds like it was meant to be! Good luck settling him back in.

[Joe_Danger]

So far there's no major drama, Milla and Kala both hiss at Casper but it's a gentler hiss than what I've heard angry cats do but it is a warning nonetheless.
Casper doesn't seem too stressed about being back home, he was away for 3 months so I doubt he recognizes the environment tho it I feel he does as he did go to sniff all his former favorite spots, but he can't recognize his mom and sister and they don't recognize him as is to be expected.

I put a bit of vanilla on all their bums so hopefully that will make them smell similar and ease the process of re-introduction for all three.
They all sniffed each other's litter boxes, Casper went into his old big Litter Box where he and the other kittens used to go while Kala and Milla both left their scent on his new one.

Any tips would be appreciated
They're all very careful around each other for now

UPDATE: Kala and Casper seem to be back to their old selves and playing their favorite game where they try to catch on another from under a door, that didn't take long I hope the hissing and growling ends here because now they're playing the same way they did the day Casper left.

Milla isn't convinced this is her son just yet tho

[Joe_Danger]

wow guys

1. He said he had allergies, that he was sneezing and his nose was stuffed up initially, or rather his girlfriend said so but when I talked to him about it he sort of dodged the question then said that he went to a doctor and the doctor said it was a cat allergy.

2. When we met up to take Casper back home all he talked about was how his parents didn't like cats and he couldn't keep him, he works as a music teacher in another town and the cat would spend too much time with his parents.

3. When he came over all he talked about was how it was too big a job to raise a cat, he also mentioned that Casper or Pocky as he calls him(seems to respond to his old name, Casper just fine) had a bit of a soft stool...but not now, apparently back when he was little, he got all confused, turns out Casper has diarrhea NOW, **** lied.

4. The guy BATHED Casper, he isn't a show cat, why would you do this, his excuse was "he gets dirty and I'm an overly pedantic person haha".

5. Casper was only vaccinated ONCE, he didn't get his re-vaccination 21 days after his first vaccination

6. Casper wasn't very well socialized, the guy would leave him home, alone for 2-3 days once a week or some such

7. The guy kept saying when he got here how he wants to go on a vacation, how he doesn't seem to have the time for this and what not all while completely forgetting about his supposed allergies and only remembering them when we'd bring them up.

EDIT: Casper and my mom always had a very special bond and he seems to recognize her, he keeps following her around and he even ate form her hand.
Kala seems to be slowly coming around but Milla has a hard time with this for now.

Casper also recognizes his old name, when I call him by Casper he turns his head and comes over when called

UPDATE: Well Casper is back to his old self as far as interaction with us humans goes, he already demands food in the kitchen, tries to climb up on the table while I'm eating, follows my mom around, plays with his sister.
But Milla is still none too happy with him, Kala alternates between growling and playing with him so that's a good thing

However more and more signs of Casper being taken care of extremely poorly keep popping up

- Apparently, I didn't hear this, but my mom did, the guy let it slip that "Pocky" would eat anything even get into trash cans to eat What the...god knows what he has eaten and if he is healthy

UPDATE: More good news
Casper is very happy and playful, he doesn't act as if he is missing the guy at all, he was just playing fetch with my mom, he brings back paper balls, responds to Casper 100% of the time too.
His adaptation back to us and his old home took no time at all...if only Milla and Kala would adapt to him now

[bobbys girl]

Yep, it sounds like it was meant to be. God does work in a mysterious way - we just don't have the full picture! That guy sounds like (what the Irish call) a real 'Eejit'.

I wouldn't worry too much about Milla not being very friendly with Casper (not all mine are friends) - at least they are not fighting. Nice to know he has come home.

[Joe_Danger]

Casper wants to play with both Kala and Milla but they're not too keen on it for the time being, tho Kala does play with him from time to time but for the most part she is wary.
Do you guys think they'll come to like each other the way they used to? How long does it usually take for cats to bond with each other properly? We can't risk all the cats messing up and start spraying if things get worse.

Also NO VET here wants to get him fixed now I've been calling vets all day nobody want to fix him before 7 months, I keep telling them he WILL mate with Kala by then, they all say he won't and refuse to fix a male cat before 7-8 months So hopefully we won't have a problem with that

[bobbys girl]

Also NO VET here wants to get him fixed now I've been calling vets all day nobody want to fix him before 7 months, I keep telling them he WILL mate with Kala by then, they all say he won't and refuse to fix a male cat before 7-8 months So hopefully we won't have a problem with that

That might be a problem, it might also explain why the girls are a little reluctant to get too involved with him. Maybe they know he still has his 'bits' and aren't in the mood to mate? Remind me, how old is he?

[Joe_Danger]

Kala and Casper are 5 months, they turned five months on the 9th. As far as I've been told Casper shows no signs of sexual maturity yet. Apparently cats from his family, his dad and half brothers showed no signs until they were 8 months old or so.
Milla is two years old now

[Joe_Danger]

Can someone help me find links from reliable sites that would prove it's ok to neuter cats before they reach sexual maturity? I can't keep fighting with vets over this and I have to have him fixed before we have permanent and unfixable problems.
I keep finding some stuff here and there but I can't find something that would prove vets in my country wrong, both old and young vets firmly stick to the whole having to reach sexual maturity thing.

Edit: On Casper's end everything is fine, I hadn't slept all night because I had a lot of work to do and while i was taking a nap he climbed up on me like he used to, purred and settled down, which of course didn't go well with Kala
He is completely re-adjusted to his environment and to us, he climbed up in my mom's lap like he used to and again, there everything is perfectly fine.

But Kala and Milla are even less tolerant of him now, especially since he clearly wants to play.
Kala and Casper got into quite a scuffle just now with fussing and hissing, so I separated them in different rooms, but this arrangement won't last long lol

I'm trying to call my vets to see what we should do as far as keeping him goes, if Kala and Milla dont get used to him in a day or two I'm afraid keeping him won't be feasible due to the small environment we live in, which is a shame given how quickly he got re-adjusted to life here.

More Updates: Casper is simply incredible, he acts as if he never left the house, he goes to all his favorite spots, even knew exactly where his favorite hiding spot was he discovered when he was little and led all the kittens there. When I sat down to play some games he just climbed up into my lap and put his head under my arm like he used to...which of course didn't sit well with Kala at all since she should be doing that
He is so amazing, so responsive, playful and lovable...losing him again would be hard but I can't afford to have Kala and Milla mess up.
I'm keeping them separated for now tho Casper and Kala play from under the door and don't hiss at each other that way, Milla however hisses even through a closed door...dude it's your kitten

How long does it take for cats to get accustomed to each other usually? Casper is right at home he knows the environment well and clearly shows he remembers us AND his old name somehow as strange as that may be, but we'll see how things go

[Joe_Danger]

I'm making new posts to make it easier for reading, please don't consider this spamming

Just updating because this IS an entertaining situation to see unfold and I think a great learning experience for everyone involved, I just hope it ends well.

Milla is still throwing hissy fits...i've been wanting to use this term since we got Casper home
Kala does her growling but is much more tolerant of her brother now
Kala eats normally..which is quite a bit because hey, it's Kala that's how she rolls, Casper eats a lot too but Milla won't eat as much, she is very careful, she is clearly still stressed so we have to fix that.

When Milla went to the bathroom both Kala and Casper sat to watch, this is something they tend to do and clearly Casper hasn't forgotten this behavior, Kala always does this to this day, God forbid I enter the bathroom both Kala and Milla meow and scratch at the door lol
There was no hissing then, Kala and Casper sat next to each other like when they were babies and watched their mom do her business, the growling started when they went to inspect Milla's business but i separated them since it was a tight spot and i was afraid Milla might attack, this is going to go gradually but hopefully it will get to a point where she is comfortable with Casper again. I feel this is a very important step in them re-establishing their bonds.

Problem are Casper and my mom, their bond is as strong as it was when Casper left as unbelievable as it may sound, so if Casper has to leave it'll be sad but here's hoping it won't get to that.
Also Casper clearly remembers his mom and sister since they aren't the ones whose smell has changed, he never hisses or growls at them unless Kala goes way overboard, he keeps trying to touch their noses with his but doesn't get the reception he is hoping for just yet.

I'm positive about this whole thing
Also they use their litter boxes interchangeably so I hope that indicates they will get closer as they stat smelling of each other.

[bobbys girl]

Whatever you are doing, keep on doing it and I think they'll be fine! He has grown in to a beautiful cat.

Don't worry if they are not all the best of friends, our Gracie gets hissed at all the time (her own fault, she is a bully) but it never amounts to anything.

[Joe_Danger]

My biggest worry is that this might lead to inappropriate elimination across all three or some such.
Kala and Milla are so close and had Casper not left home he too would have been like that with his mom and sister It really breaks my heart seeing him be the outcast when he was so loved by his mom

What are the chances of a conflict escalating and messing all 3 cats up beyond repair? We have no pet therapists here or anything to resolve the issue.
And we live in a small apartment with little room for the cats to isolate themselves if needed

UPDATE:
wow I can't believe what just happened

So Milla was under the table in the living room after having finished eating, she is cleaning herself. I was sitting in front of the table petting Casper, he stars purring which prompted Milla to stop grooming herself, look at him then contunue. Milla keeps grooming herself and all of a sudden like she normally does with her kittens she walks up to Casper and starts grooming him like she used to...except she is confused he smells different, the purr is the same it's what caught her attention but he smells differently so she cleans him a bit, then hisses a tad, cleans some more, growls a bit, cleans a bit more and eventually walks off all confused.

I think she knows it's her kitten o_O why would she start grooming a stranger cat out of nowhere like that, I think hearing his purr sparked something inside her.

[bobbys girl]

It sounds very much like it! Don't try to read so much into every action (I know how hard it is not to) It might be that they are picking up on your tension and worry.

Felix, our stray boy causes tension among the others, but if we are calm about it, they are fine. My mum gets in a flap and says 'Oh that cat is back again', in such a way that it stirs up everyone - THEN they start hissing and growling.

I think your cats are doing fine. It seems like it was all meant to be and, if that's so, everything will work out just fine.

[Joe_Danger]

I know it's hard to believe but despite me talking a lot I'm not tense
a tad worried if all will turn out well but I'm definitely not tense especially not around them. It's just that i talk a lot is all

thanks so much for the replies

[Joe_Danger]

Everyone seems to be doin fine, there's still a bit of fussin but it's nothing major
They eat together and when they do there's no hissing or growling going down unless Casper gets close to Milla, she seems to want to assert her position as the mom, she even sent Kala to eat in the Kitchen which i've never seen her do before lol she always lets Kala eat first from the same bowl and even gives up her own food for Kala, but now she just meowed and Kala left the food bowl and went to eat from the other one in the ktichen, so weird and interesting to see.

Casper is wrestling with Kala A LOT, no claws out or anything, but he keeps attacking her playfully like he did with his brother Medo, she isn't too fond of it but meh she growls then hisses, then plays with him when he gets away so it's all good it seems.

The girl whose boyfriend couldn't keep Casper is sooo worried about him, she keeps in touch with my mom and she genuinely loves this cat, if she didn't already have two cats and a dog she would've been the one to take him in instead....at least I would've known he would have gotten the care I deem acceptable and good at my vets' house instead of at this random guy's house who kept leaving him alone for days.

But it's all good now
Casper is where he belongs, he is taken care of properly, he sleeps in his old favorite spots as if he never left and my vet's family provides fantastic support as always.

We'll see how all this developers and whether or not Milla and Kala will get fully adjusted to Casper, I think they will

[Joe_Danger]

Their bond has been successfully restored!
Today they act as if Casper never left the house
Milla was cleaning both of them, then they started cleaning each other, Milla tried cleaning Casper's bum and as usual he didn't like it so he ran away (she always tries to clean them down there, they don't like it but she tries anyways lol) so she settled for cleaning his tail

Overall it seems all three are finally back to normal and Casper isn't leaving this house, ever.

I know I sounded tense but I wasn't, I just thought this would be a long and trying process so I just wanted to get as much info out there as possible in case I'm doing something wrong without realizing it, I'm sorry if I sounded overbearing I simply try to do everything right.

Well, I hope they stay close forever now

[bobbys girl]

That's really good news.

[Crewella]

That is good news, I'm glad he's been able to pretty much pick up where he left off!

[Joe_Danger]

Milla is so dedicated a mom to Casper once again that she gives up her own food to him just like she did when he was little and she does for Kala...I'm not a fan of this as both of them eat a lot more than she does so I start feeding her together with them but then separate her, she has this thing ever since she was a kitten where she can't eat in one spot, she starts in the kitchen then wants her bowl moved to a different spot where she takes you to, dunno why she does that it's been like that since we got her but it's a good thing since it makes it easier to separate her form her kids who WILL eat everything she has on her plate and she won't do a thing to stop them

I'm just so happy all my cats are fine now
next up is to get Kala and Casper sorted out with spaying and neutering , shame vets here refuse to fix cats before sexual maturity so I hope that goes over smoothly as well.

[Jacks]

So happy for you Joe - Milla now has her family back together and all are happy.

Hope you can get the spaying/neutering issue sorted out before there are any problems.

Well done for your patience and doing the right thing. Casper is home for good. x

[Joe_Danger]

The way Milla behaves around Casper now is as if she really does know she is his mom
Like today for example, Kala and Casper were sleeping, Milla woke up and as she normally would she went first to Casper, cleaned him up nice and good, then went to Kala and gave her a good cleaning too, she would've done them both but they were in separate places lol

tho they do sleep together quite often
http://i.imgur.com/2uXf5PW.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/vAqTAMK.jpg

Also check out Kala and Casper yesterday when a bunch of new games arrived in the mail
http://i.imgur.com/A7iykJT.jpg

Kala and Casper arguing over who should play this super rare game I got (only 5000 physical copies of it exist in the world)
http://i.imgur.com/ZZMcQGm.jpg

and here are all three looking at one of the book covers I illustrated(it came out all blue on camera for some reason, it's not)
http://i.imgur.com/kOY2ZSo.jpg

I do not pose them, they just come naturally to whatever new thing pops up in the house as cats normally do

[bobbys girl]

Oh so sweet! I'm glad all is going well. They all look happy together.

[Crewella]

Gorgeous pics, as always! It's hard to tell from the pics, can you still faintly see those two marks that were on Casper's head when he was little?

And I love your illustration.

[Joe_Danger]

Thanks
yeah they're still there but sometimes they're hard to see in photos.
I really hope he doesn't lose them but my vet says he might since his dad or half brother had similar marks too and they faded away over time, so we'll see

casper actually has 3 marks, two sort of like splodges and one longer line but I can't seem to find a good pic to show them
you can see the two more clearly here
http://i.imgur.com/6gfFZFL.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/tp3j9v9.jpg

here's Casper when he was little, all 3 marks are visible here but they might be hard to make out
http://i.imgur.com/8zLT591.jpg