New kitten wants to meet but older cat not ready?

[thunderschoen]

Hi,

First time poster!

I have a cat (a Bengal female, nearly 10 years old) who has been with me since she was about 4-5 months old. Her temperament is very affectionate and playful, but shy around other people. She came from a litter, but since then she has been a solo, indoor cat. 3 days ago (29/11) I adopted a rescue kitten (male, 4 months old). The rescue group specified that they wanted him to go to a house with another cat(s), as he had taken so well to the fosterer's other cats. Both cats are spayed/neutered.

I am following the usual advice about slow introductions and scent-swapping, so for now the kitten is in his own room with food, water, litter, toys, etc. He's making good progress, but he still runs and hides very easily. I go into the room several times a day to sit/play with him. However, I think he's lonely and getting curious about the other cat in the house. As soon as he hears her, he will start mewing at the door and trying to open it. He's also crying a lot during the night, and I feel bad because I can't go and keep him company overnight.

My other cat doesn't seem so keen yet. She spent the first 24 hours growling and hissing constantly. She has calmed down a little now but she still growls if she smells the kitten on me, and she seems very wary about walking past "his" room. She's also not eating or playing as much as she usually does, and I wonder if that's because she gets herself "stuck" either upstairs or downstairs, from not wanting to walk past the room. I definitely think it's more "fear" than "aggression". I'm just trying to let her come round at her own pace, and in the meantime I'm giving her lots of affection and treats.

I totally understand that it's still very early days and I'm probably worrying way too much, and both cats will probably continue to make progress. I'm trying to balance their wants/needs, and I want to make sure I strike the right balance, to give them the best possible chance of being able to co-exist happily (or peacefully, at least). In terms of next steps, I don't have a screen door or stair gate, so the only way I could let them see each other while remaining separate is by putting one of them in a cat carrier, and I feel like that might be intimidating/counterproductive. The door to the kitten's room has a slight gap underneath it so I'm hoping that eventually they might just start sniffing each other through there, but I feel like it could be a while before my older cat wants to go near the door.

I just wanted to ask if anyone else has been through this with cats of similar temperaments/reactions? If so, when did you know that it was the right time to progress things? Did you wait for signs of them attempting positive interaction, or just for a lack of 'bad' reactions?

Thanks, sorry for the ramble!

[Mollycat]

Slow down, always go at the pace of the slowest cat. What you're trying to achieve is for both cats to be curious about each other, that's why you rein them back through the whole process. Do not be tempted to rush things as one mistake now can lead to months of stress to put it right.

The older and resident cat is always going to find it much harder to adapt to sharing their territory than a new kitten who doesn't yet know what a territory is let alone respect someone else's. Think weeks and months, not a few days. Both cats must be comfortable at each step for several days before you let them move to the next step.

[thunderschoen]

Slow down, always go at the pace of the slowest cat. What you're trying to achieve is for both cats to be curious about each other, that's why you rein them back through the whole process. Do not be tempted to rush things as one mistake now can lead to months of stress to put it right.

The older and resident cat is always going to find it much harder to adapt to sharing their territory than a new kitten who doesn't yet know what a territory is let alone respect someone else's. Think weeks and months, not a few days. Both cats must be comfortable at each step for several days before you let them move to the next step.

Thank you, I will do that.